


Lurk

by Boya, heyitsbabz



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: #stoptheabuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Graphic Depictions of avoiding your problems, Have Some Angst With Your Angst, I don't even care!, I shouldn't be allowed to tag things, Just Kidding it's not PG is it, M/M, Texting, a terrible one, damn it josh, definitely smutty, donate, everyone's a sarcastic asshole, i love them, if someone doesn't cry reading this I'm done writing fics, its rated PG for Pretty Gay, just know it's hot, let them suffer, mutual morons, name a more iconic duo, one dollar can save Josh from being a dumbass, pain n suffering, playing with knives isn't how you flirt with people tyler, prepare your gentle heart chords, shit happens, stopthejoshabuse.com, to, what kind of fic would it be without smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:58:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8964442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boya/pseuds/Boya, https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsbabz/pseuds/heyitsbabz
Summary: The one where they meet by accident and start some shit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting a new story because why not.  
> This one is co-written with my bff Boya and you all should check him out on insta (@ Boyaishere) because his art is insanely good and it's joshler most of the time. What more do you need?  
> He's insanely talented and creative and this story wouldn't be possible without him so there ya go.  
> You're all welcome. 
> 
> The fic title comes from the song Lurk by the neighbourhood so if ya wanna listen to it and get a feel for the story, be my guest!
> 
> This fic is texting based, and the italics are Tyler while the regular font is Josh. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Josh is not fond of college.

  
He didn't want to be here and he didn't feel so hot wasting his parents’ money on this bullshit, but he had no other choice since apparently being in a _band_ was too over ambitious and he'd _never_ make it. He’d personally like to thank his own dad for that sincere reminder, so here he is, suffering through his fourth semester.

  
It’s a tragedy and he all but groans when he makes his way into his dorm after having gone to a party with his friends. He was the only one sober tonight, the thought of drinking having made him sick in itself. It’s not like he didn't like to drink, but after last time and having puked his guts out, he offered to be the makeshift dd that kept everyone out of serious trouble.

  
As he climbs the stairs to his room, he prays to anyone that his roommate wasn't there so he can get some rest.

  
In short, the guy was a grade A dick.

  
Josh is good with dealing with assholes so he tries to remind himself that everything is fine as he opens the door and walks to his side of the room to kick off his shoes, tugging his shirt over his head and taking off his ripped jeans. He bundles them up, careful to take his phone out of his pocket and throws them on his desk chair carelessly, grimacing when he notices a pile starting to grow. The room is eerily quiet and he almost smiles at the tranquility, sitting on his bed and putting his phone to charge.

  
When the phone lights up as he plugs it, he sees he’s got one unread message by an unknown number and he quirks his head in silent question of who the fuck this random ass person is. He should ignore it, pretend he never saw it, but his curiosity gets the best of him, his mind wanting to find out more.

  
_What’s your name?_

  
Um, who’s this?

  
_I asked you a question._

  
This guy (or girl) was an asshole, Josh decides.

  
bossy.

it’s josh

how’d you get this number?

  
_Ah, Josh. Josh._

_Do you suck dick well? ‘Cause this interesting advertisement I found seems to be pretty clear._

  
Josh stiffens, his head pulling a literal blank.

  
what. the fuck.

what advertisement?

who is this?

 

  
_Are you pretty?_

_[one image attached]_

  
Josh clicks the picture and he clenches his jaw so hard he almost chips a tooth. Of fucking course Dustin would think it’s funny to write out his number in a bathroom stall with the ‘ _For a good time call…_ ’ message. Josh was going to kill him in his sleep. Violently. He doesn't have much time to continue planning his friend's murder because he gets another text.

  
_Josh, Josh. Where have I heard this name before?_

  
I don't know, man. Listen, my friend wrote that out as a joke.

I'm going to kill him.

  
_My cock seems uninterested in what you're saying._

_Let's be friends, Josh. I'm a good guy. Easy going._

  
I don't even know your name.

  
_I don't have one._

_Describe yourself, Josh._

_I like to repeat your name. It sounds soft in my mouth._

  
That’s… okay.

I’m 20, easy going most of the time too I guess, I have insomnia but that’s not why I'm up right now and... I have pink hair?

I don't know.

Tell me your name at least.

  
_Oh, PINK HAIR! Now I remember. That's Josh. The faggot. They call you that, you know? But I didn't have the honour to talk to you personally yet._

  
fuck you.

  
_You're pretty chill. I may be a bloody serial killer but still, you're pretty chill. Have you some kind of fascination with Death?_

  
what? no what the hell dude, are you high?

  
_I'm not calling you a faggot, silly. In fact, I am a faggot too._

_Ha Ha._

_You’re so adorable, Josh._

_Tell me, are you as much of a lil fag as they say?_

  
you don't even know me, no-named douchebag.

yes I'm gay haha how ironic

  
_Oh man, who would have thought. Like, pink hair. A gay with pink hair? I'm amazed._

_You actually look pretty gay._

_I have to be honest. I don't look gay at all, I even had hetero relationships. Twice._

  
thanks?

ew. I dated a girl once and it was terrible so. here I am

  
_It's not a compliment. You look like a bottom. Are you an annoying bottom?_

  
Josh snorts, shaking his head at that. This guy was more entertaining than what Josh gave him credit for. In fact his anxiety hadn't even spiked at the fact he was talking to an absolute stranger. Weird.

  
damn, straight to the point aren't you?

  
_Do you want to know a secret, Josh?_

  
what?

  
_Tell me you want to know it._

  
Josh rolls his eyes.

  
you're annoying, but okay. what's your big bad secret, dude that won't tell me his name? I really really want to know.

  
_Tell me again._

_Tell me you w a n t i t._

  
I want to know your secret, tell me it.

  
_:)_

  
_I eat people_

  
dude. gross.

don't be a dick, it's like 3am

  
_I could be there now._

 _Hanging out with you._  
_[one image attached]_

  
Josh laughs softly and lays down on his bed; the picture was of the guy, only his face was covered by a mask of some sort. He’s clever, Josh gives him that, but he spots the tattoos on his arm anyway and they seem familiar enough. Where has he seen them before?

  
you're a tease.

sick tattoos though

  
_Am I?_

  
you are.

are you this much of a tease when you have sex? laaaame

  
_When it comes to sex I take what I want directly from its source._

  
kinky.

  
_Tell me your classes._

  
tell me your name first.

  
_We're understanding the game now, aren't we?_

  
_Tyler._

  
Ah, Josh does know this kid. They share a class together.

  
huh. tyler.

you're in my music theory class

I may be the faggot but you're the weird introvert. that's what they call you, you know?

:)

  
Josh smirks to himself and drops the phone onto his chest, closing his eyes. The light was starting to burn them in the darkness. He thinks that maybe, just maybe he’ll finally fall asleep, that the over exhaustion of his insomnia keeping him up so many nights has finally gotten to him and sleep was on it’s way until his phone starts buzzing with texts. Repeatedly.

  
His eyes snap open as he grabs his phone.

  
_What a tease you are._

_I'm not that introverted, I just like to be... selective._

_People always tend to.. misunderstand? the things I say._

  
Josh sighs in disbelief. This guy was a straight up asshole, of course people wouldn't understand him. It’s a little sad, if he's being honest, but Josh doesn't know him well enough to care.

  
I wonder why, tyler.

  
_Oh you, so gay and so silly._

_Are you offended by me?_

  
would ya look at that, apparently you're gay too!

  
_Definitely offended._

_You little fucking faggot._

  
oh, so we're back to name calling are we?

  
_I like to taunt you._

_I'll begin to hunt you soon too_

  
you're so fucking strange

  
_Wanna know something normal?_

  
Normal doesn't seem like something that would fit Tyler’s vocabulary. It didn't seem to fit anything about him, actually. Josh knows nothing about him, maybe he’s judging him too harshly, but come on. This was some weird shit and sure, he could probably blame it on how tired he is, only he’s choosing not to.

  
enlighten me.

  
_I like pizza._

  
Oh thank god, Josh has something in common with this guy.

  
_Are you naked? I'm sorry if I sound like a pervert,_

_but I actually am a pervert._

_I like your eyes._

  
no kidding.

no I'm not naked, my roommate wouldn't really appreciate that

I am shirtless though, it's hot as hell in these dorms

and thanks. would be nice to see a pic of you too since I can't remember your face, but hey, whatever.

  
That much is true at least; Josh’s hazy head couldn't remember what Tyler looks like for the life of him.

  
_Why is that? Is he insecure about being a repressed faggot?_

_[one image attached]_

_Do you like me, my child?_

  
Josh feels his breath catch as he looks at the picture- Tyler is shirtless from what Josh can tell, tattoos littering his chest and he’s grinning impossibly wide. His eyes crinkle and a dimple forms in his left cheek, but Josh is so transfixed on the shape of his nose that it takes him about a minute to notice that his eyes are brown, like melted chocolate. He’s breathtaking in every sense of the word and it makes Josh’s stomach churn.

  
It takes him a minute longer to reply.

  
ha ha, no, he's just.... very confusing. it's none of your business anyway.

eh, you're alright I guess.. daddy  
lol

  
Josh makes terrible, terrible jokes when he’s nervous and now that he knows the guy he’s texting is hot, his anxiety creeps up on him, gripping at his skin painfully obvious as though it’s asking him to pay attention to it.

  
Maybe he’s a catfish- Josh holds onto this idea for dear life.

  
_I am not alright, I am fucking handsome just admit it._

  
got an ego huh, pretty boy?

  
_It happens when you're known as the 'weird introvert'. Do you have any idea how much pussy I get?_

_Just for my accent?_

  
With a purse of his lips, he considers not answering him at all. He’s typing the message before he can even think of not doing it; the opportunity to taunt Tyler right back seeming too sweet to pass up.

  
ooooh, you're one of THOSE

  
_Of 'those'?_

  
a dude who's gotta fuck girls to pretend he's less gay, hm. must be fun

  
_I'm not saying that I fuck them. But I love to have a following, you know. Little jealous bodyguards._

_Little faggot haters._

_Ashley hates everyone who's around me. I fucked her some time ago while she was with that_ _quarterback._

_One of 'those'. You're so humoristic._

  
you sure you don't have any stds, bud?

  
_Pretty sure._

_I can use a condom if you want._

_Is that an invitation? It is._

  
The heaviness of his eyes makes it hard for him to write his last two messages, but he does it, if only to get some sort of last word in there.

  
very funny.

what makes you think you'd hypothetically top me?

  
And with that, he tosses the phone to the side and rolls over, tucking his arm under the pillow and letting sleep consume him.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up late for class. He should have seen this coming with how late he’d stayed up, but as he grabs his phone and shoves it in his pocket, quickly running to his class, all he can think is the word _fuck_ repeatedly.

  
There’s nothing worse than walking into class late. The fact that people will be staring at him as he makes his way to a free seat makes him want to skip the class altogether. He can't skip the class though, he’d already skipped twice and if he checks his syllabus he’s sure that three times means a failing grade.

  
It’s his music theory class too and the uneasiness he feels at the thought of talking to Tyler in person makes him halt his pace for a second.

  
He gets to class, making his way to a seat without disturbing the professor and takes out his books quietly along with his phone, checking to see if anyone was trying to get in touch with him. Turns out Tyler had the last word last night and his messages make Josh bite back a scoff.

  
_'cause fighting would result in bruises and a series of mental breakdowns for you._

_curious however how you said "what makes you think you'd top me" instead of "what makes you think you'd fuck me". You're so easy._

  
i fall asleep and wake up to a message like this from a dude who thinks he knows everything about me ha

get fucked man, you don't even know me.

 

  
_All you little gays are like that._

  
Josh ignores him until his class is dismissed, not wanting to risk getting lectured in front of the class by his prof. Besides, he liked this class enough; he was passionate about music and this class was about as musical as it gets without instruments.

  
When his prof wishes them a good day, Josh is out of his seat and out the door in record time, hoping to avoid any confrontation from Tyler. His mindset gets cut short when he gets a bunch of messages to his phone.

  
_I skipped class today, did you notice?_

_Ask me why._

  
Josh rolls his eyes dramatically, his own paranoia having got the best of him in class when Tyler wasn't even there. In any case, why is Tyler the only person texting him? His friends hadn’t even shot him a thank you for last night text, the assholes.

  
don't flatter yourself, I didn't notice. but okay, why did you?

  
_None of your business._

_HA HA HA_

  
wow, fair play I guess

  
_I want to see your face again_

_Send me a pic of you._

  
Josh was about to reply with no, that's creepy, but stops himself because it's only fair that he sends him a picture. After all, when Josh asked Tyler for a pic yesterday, he sent one without questioning him. Tyler probably only remembers him by memory anyway, he might as well help the guy out and clue him in on how he looks.

  
With a glance around him, he raises his arm and snaps a picture without halting his speed walk. The picture itself makes Josh chuckle; it was blurry, but the unimpressed look shows clearly on his face and it literally defines their entire… friendship? He doesn't know what to label them, but his tattooed arm was in view and his hair was especially bright. His finger hovers over the send button nervously before clicking it.

  
[one image attached]  
there you go.

unimpressed with you

  
_Wow you sure take high quality pictures_

_I didn't notice that sleeve._

_What’s it of?_

  
some of us don't skip classes and have other ones to attend

blurry pics are what you get sorry!

and it's a tree and a sunset type thing. ask me about it in person sometime and I might tell you

  
_How romantic. Faggots are always romantic._

_You wanna talk with me now?_

_You're so gonna fall for me._

  
Josh only sees the messages when his class ends, a long hour and a half later. He shakes his head, wondering what kind of ego this kid must have to state shit like that out of nowhere to people he doesn't know.

  
what the fuck.

I've never spoken to you irl

you've got some high hopes man

  
_You didn't notice me enough. Now you're intrigued._

_I'm building up the web, my lil boy_

_God, I'm so funny_

_Wanna see something cute?_

  
you're weird and texted me out of nowhere, of course I'm intrigued, tyler.

sure

I'm curious to see what your definition of cute is

  
_But I'm cute. Admit that at least._  
_[one image attached]_

  
The picture is one Tyler’s crotch, the outline of his dick showing in his boxers and Josh bites his lip tentatively. He was _not_ going to start sexting a stranger, he chants in his head.

  
_Where are you?_

  
Jesus Christ.

I’m going to my dorm.

  
_Hmm hmm._

_I left something there for you._

  
okay.....

wait how do you know where I live?

  
_I love how surprised you sound_

  
It’s unsettling, the fact that Tyler knows where he lives. He shouldn't let it get to him, because maybe he’d seen him around, you know, a logical explanation as to how he knows, but he assumes the worst and his assumption leads him to believe he has a fucking stalker.

  
Great. This is exactly what he needed.

  
And you know what? What he doesn't expect to find is a fucking rose stabbed to his door with a dagger going right through the middle of it. He brings a hand to cover his mouth in shock, his eyes widening into saucers he’s sure.

  
The shock doesn't last long before he’s pulling the dagger out from his door and holding onto the battered rose tightly, ignoring the dent in his door and hoping his roommate won't notice it either.

  
you left me a rose and a knife what the hell is wrong with you?

you know what don't answer that

you're so fucking strange I should have seen this coming

  
_You don't sound pleased._

_Do you prefer tulips?_

_I have to get that knife back. Can I come now?_

  
yes tyler come get your fucking knife

don't stab me with it

  
He tosses his phone and places the knife and rose on his desk, realizing a second too late that he just invited this guy to come get his knife that he could easily kill him with. Was he actually insane?

  
After spending all morning trying to avoid him, he managed to end up at square one all over again and it was in less than suitable circumstances.

  
Pacing around the room angrily (because Tyler has some nerve to do this) for no more than 10 minutes, he jumps in his step, startled by the loud knock on the door. Don't let him get to you, Josh tries to pep talk himself as he walks to the door, swinging it open.

  
Tyler is standing there, a small grin on his face and his eyes full of mischief.

 

Oh _no_ , he’s not a catfish, he sighs inwardly and lets his eyes run over every inch of Tyler’s body, covered in black jeans and a oversized tank top. He’s gorgeous, astoundingly so that he has to force himself to tear his gaze away from him and to his now-ruined door.

  
“Your knife is on my desk.” He blurts out, mentally kicking himself at how high his voice comes out before glancing back at Tyler.

  
“I guess you’re subtly inviting me to join you in your room, aren’t ya?” Tyler clucks his tongue cockily, shoving past Josh and into the room, shoulders banging together in the process.

  
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Josh glares after Tyler’s moving figure.

  
“Oh, there it is.” Tyler sighs theatrically, slim fingers wrapping around the blade’s handle without hesitation. “It’s a bit dark in here, my fellow homoboy. Don’t you agree?”

  
Tyler turns to face him, but his eyes are glued to the blade while Josh watches him, expressionless and without any intention of opening any light. He watches as Tyler brings the tip of the blade to his finger, rotating it expertly and Josh is mesmerized by the way it dances around his fingertips.

  
“What are you up to?” Tyler hums, snapping Josh’s attention back to his face where he was looking at him through long, dark lashes.

  
He gives off such an innocent, carefree vibe for someone holding a fucking knife. Josh doesn't buy it at all.

  
“Nothing,” He replies slowly, leaning his shoulder against the wall. “I was just going to study and nap. Why?”

  
It’s only half a lie really; he _was_ originally supposed to study, but he was mostly probably going to jack off _then_ nap.

  
“Study?” Tyler gives him a knowing look. “Nah. What about we talk a little?”

  
“Okay?” Josh starts, but Tyler cuts him off. Bristling in silence, he lets Tyler speak.

  
“We’ve clearly started off on the wrong foot, yes?” Tyler takes two steps forward, getting closer to Josh. “I’m Tyler.”

  
Josh snorts, like he didn't already know that. Nevertheless, he pushes himself off the wall and nods.

  
“I’m Josh.”

  
“Tell me something I don't know about you. Something no one knows. Something uncomfortable.” Tyler asks as he tosses the knife onto the nearest bed, but it comes out more of a demand. “I want to be your friend, I want to know you better.”

  
Josh feels the aura of confidence falling off Tyler in waves; it was hard to ignore it. He wonders briefly if this was just how Tyler was naturally or if he was faking it to intimidate him.

  
“Something uncomfortable, huh? Like what?” Josh steps closer, invading Tyler’s personal bubble and watching his pretty face for any change of emotion. “Like how I totally wouldn't mind fucking you right now?”

  
His mouth works on it’s own, spitting out taunts and waiting for the shock to settle in on Tyler’s face. It doesn't. Only slightly miffed by this, Josh steps away.

  
“Your turn, Tyler.”

  
“My turn?” Tyler muses, a soft smile gracing his lips. It confuses Josh for a second, because it looks so genuine and fond.

  
He watches him turn toward the bed, no doubt retrieving his knife again and the smile stays on his lips, making his innocence even more known. Josh knows that this guy is anything but innocent and it throws him off until he feels the coolness of the blade pressing against his lower back.

  
“Get on you knees, Josh.” Tyler murmurs as he rubs the blade against Josh’s skin with a strange and concerning delicacy.

  
Josh does as he’s told, sinking to his knees gracefully and looking up at Tyler, eyes wide and confused at what the fuck is going on and why it was all of a sudden too hot in the room.

  
“You’re crazy,” Josh voices out loud. “But it’s kinda hot.”

  
_You’re an idiot, Josh,_ he chides himself quickly. He obviously has some sort of death wish after that debacle so he leans back on his knees, waiting for Tyler to speak.

  
Fingers thread through his hair and pull hard enough to have Josh’s neck straining as he looks up at the boy. Tyler doesn't say anything, just watches him calmly and waits for him to figure out what he wants.

  
“Do you want me to blow you?” Josh stutters, clearing his throat.

  
The fingers in his pink hair tighten their hold and Josh shifts on his knees to mask his arousal; this was a fucked up thing to be turned on over. Especially as the blade moves up his spine, over his shirt this time, coming to a stop at the back of his neck.

  
The blade doesn't scare Josh at all and in this situation it really should. Josh doesn't know Tyler; he could be a killer on campus and Josh was just his victim, but even then, this doesn't scare him.

  
Maybe Josh is a bit fucked up too.

  
The knife follows the line of his jaw, the touch so soft against his skin he almost closes his eyes.

  
“Open your mouth.” Tyler demands, the tip of the blade caressing the corner of his mouth before Josh’s tongue is eagerly pressing against it.

  
He lets his tongue glide over the blade and he’s careful enough to not let his tongue get cut open, but at this point he doesn't care; the cool metal in his mouth and the look Tyler is giving him almost enough to make him moan.

  
The knife disappears suddenly and he’s being tugged forward by the back of the head, his mouth making contact with Tyler’s hard cock through his jeans.

  
Josh wasn't one to waste time, especially with one night stands so he quickly lifts his hands to the button of Tyler’s jeans, popping it open before the knock at the door makes him freeze in place.

  
“Ignore it.” He tells Tyler, his fingers sliding his jeans down his legs easily, his mouth watering at the sight of him straining against his boxers.

  
Without thinking, he leans forward and starts mouthing at his cock, enjoying the feel of Tyler jerking forward at the friction his mouth was causing as another knock sounds at the door. Josh pulls away, sitting back on his knees.

  
“Go away!” He calls, annoyed and begins sliding Tyler’s boxers down in one swift motion.

  
“I should have…” Tyler’s voice trails off as Josh licks up the precome leaking at the head of his dick. “I should have hunt you sooner.”

  
Josh doesn't know what that means and he doesn't care much about it. The door clicks open and Josh looks up at Tyler who was staring at whoever was at the door, speaking silently to him.

  
“Let’s see how much of a whore you really are.” He grips at his cock, rubbing it against Josh’s cheek in challenge.

  
With a scoff, Josh turns to the door to see the traumatized look of his roommate's girlfriend, the disgust written plainly on her face.

  
This was turning out to be more of an adventure than Josh was expecting, but he wasn't one to turn down getting laid, so he looks back to Tyler with a spiteful smirk resting on his face.

  
“You think I give a shit if the homophobic bitch watches?” Josh whispers, loud enough for Tyler to hear before he’s smacking his hand away and grabbing the base of his cock, kitten licking the tip again. “You don't know me at all, Tyler.”

  
He’s not usually like this either; he’s usually more respectable and values himself more, but at this point he’s so aroused he needs to get off before he fucking explodes.

  
He wraps his lips around Tyler, taking as much of him into his mouth as he can before he’s moving back up and down, his tongue running along the underside of his cock. He licks at the tip, hand jacking what his mouth can't take and Josh almost laughs when he hears a shriek of _what the hell, Josh!_

  
“Aw… shut up.” Tyler snaps to the girl before she’s slamming the door shut. “Josh.”

  
Josh knows he’s good at sucking dick, it definitely isn't news to him, so hearing Tyler moan out his name was music to his ears. He feels Tyler twitch in his mouth and he picks up his pace.

  
“You make me sick.” Tyler spits out and moves away from Josh, his dick slipping out of his mouth. “I’d rather stay clean of the diseases you must have.”

  
Josh sits back, lips red and swollen and most of all confused. Tyler wanted this just as bad as he did so what the fuck? He continues watching Tyler slip back into his clothes, his heart hammering in his chest as he gets up and grabs his arm before he can slip through the door.

  
“You’re the one who messaged me,” He growls, watching Tyler’s face for any sign of emotion, but it’s blank, emotionless. It frustrates Josh enough to continue talking, his words as sharp as Tyler's knife. “Don't talk about diseases when I’m sure you have as many as you think I do.”

  
Then just like that, Tyler shrugs his arm off and is out the door without another word.

  
What the fuck just happened? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't already, y'all should check out my finished fic Wicked Games too, because like, why not!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't, go to Boya's insta and see the new art he posted for this. (@ boyaishere)
> 
> It's so great and you're all welcome!

It takes Josh an entire week to finally cave and send that stupid fucker a message. He knows he shouldn't and he should pretend he never existed, but he can't help it. Tyler has already weaved himself into Josh’s brain and he can't stop thinking about him. It doesn't help that people have been treating him differently since he’s met him either.

  
you're a dick tyler

  
_And you're telling me I'm a dick one week later?_

  
yes

  
because you are

  
_and why is that my little fella_

  
you're seriously gonna play dumb?

  
_I'm not playing dumb. Tell me what's wrong, cute lil fag_

  
oh NOW I'm cute

  
_You are_

  
_I have no doubts about it_

  
you're so confusing

  
and frustrating

  
_Look in the mirror, idiot_

_You’re pretty good looking_

  
yeah, fuck you

  
are you spreading rumours about me

  
_Me? Why should I?_

  
_And to be honest they're not even rumors, you're pretty much a total whore_

  
_Why don't you just admit it to me?_

  
Josh bristles, gritting his teeth. He wants to yell in frustration, but he doesn't think that would go over well with him being in class and all. Besides, he wasn't a whore and the fact Tyler thinks that lowly of him kind of hurts. Fuck Tyler.

  
_Come on answer me_

  
_Don't make me wait my sweet boy_

  
_You know I crave your attention_

  
Was Tyler mocking him now too?

  
I'm not a whore so stop telling people I am, thanks.

  
and I'm definitely not YOUR anything

  
god, is that all you want you pathetic piece of shit? my attention?

  
_Don't treat me like that…_

  
_I’m gonna get a boner_

  
Josh starts typing a reply like rapid fire, about to go off on him in ways that would probably make his other friends cry, but then another message appears.

  
_Look, I'm sorry Josh._

  
_Let's just be friends._

  
_Yours are pretty useless._

  
Leaning back in his chair, Josh erases his big angry paragraph with a smug expression. He wasn't far off; his friends were the shittiest people he could ever have acquainted himself with.

  
sure tyler, lets be friends

  
you'll probably end up being as useless as the rest of them :)

  
unless you end up proving me wrong there

  
_Come to my room._

  
Josh wants to break his phone. Better yet, he wants to go to Tyler's room and bash his phone in his face repeatedly.

  
_No, nevermind._

  
_Tell me your hobbies_.

  
He relaxes slightly in his seat, glancing up at his professor's lecture to make sure he’s not missing anything important.

  
_I'm waiting, Josh._

_Josh Josh Josh._

  
you're an impatient one aren't ya

  
but wow, a decent question for once! cool, I drum whenever I have free time. I skateboard to most places for the aesthetic and I suck terribly at any sport imaginable. except maybe soccer.

  
what about you

  
_I have a lot of decent questions to ask you. So you're an emo punk boy huh? All skate & cocks_

  
_Nice. I sing._

  
_Sometimes._

  
_I like to make people uncomfortable too._

  
definitely. I'm that stereotypical boy for you

  
you should sing for me sometime

  
and I already knew that last one.

 

  
_That is actually one of my favorite hobbies. Making people uncomfortable._

  
_No, I will not._

  
_Oh, you're one funny boy._

  
why do you enjoy making people uncomfortable?

  
thanks, that's my goal. to be funny ha

  
He sees the dots appear at the bottom side of his phone and rolls his eyes at his own fucking lame-ness. If he was anyone else, he’d punch himself in the face.

  
_'cause making you uncomfortable means I'm gonna be remembered in some way. When you see me doing that you'll be uncomfortable but at the same time I'll be the most sincere thing you've ever seen._

  
_Wanna know something really funny?_

  
_“Josh is pure”_

  
ha ha tyler

  
_I like your teeth._

  
This guy is so fucking weird god damn, why is Josh so into it?

  
thanks. I like your nose.

  
it’s cute

  
_I like your lips too._

  
_You’re like a comic character._

  
you give lots of mixed signals

  
_I like to be confusing.._

  
_I found something in your tagged Facebook photos…_  
_[one image attached]_

  
Josh had almost tripped and fell when he saw the picture. It’s of him, only he’s wearing a blonde wig with a baseball cap on his head and smirking and there’s no doubt in his mind that he was also high as fuck when the picture was taken. He’s seriously debating crawling into a hole and dying.

  
oh god dammit

  
_I bet that guy is already in love with me._

  
you wish

  
_So do you fuck people and fall in love randomly_

  
_Or fuck for the sake of it?_

  
contrary to what you think, I only have sex when it's convenient

  
_So, hooking up with someone who looks like a serial killer is very much convenient for Josh_

  
_Nice taste, I must say._

  
you don't look like a serial killer

but hey, carrying a knife with you IS fucking weird.

just so you know.

  
_Oh, I wasn't talking about myself. I was referring to your ex boyfriend._

  
_So fucking ugly, to be honest._

  
so you're stalking me, huh? good to know.

  
_Yeah, I have no problem admitting that._

  
Josh purses his lips to hide the smile forming on them. He shouldn't be happy about a dumb boy stalking him, that’s just creepy. It’s not like he’s going out and looking up Tyler online, but now he kind of wants to.

  
you're a fucking creep and I hate you

  
_[one imagine attached]_  
_You're gorgeous._

  
The picture is of Josh, his favourite grey beanie on his head and he's smirking, eyes full of mischief, like he knows something everyone else doesn't. He remembers posting it on his social media whatever the fucks the other day.

  
_Don't tell me you hate me_

  
_I’m rock hard already_

  
_so pretty.. so fucking pretty_

  
He feels his face heating up and cursing himself for being such a slut for compliments. He makes sure he gets to his room before he replies, dropping his bag on the floor by his bed and kicking off his shoes.

  
mm, do you try and sext with all your friends ty?

  
or am I just special?

  
_I'm not sexting. You're insanely gorgeous._

  
_Fucking is almost an offence towards that face_

  
here's a question for you tyler

  
_You may have one thousand diseases but that face.._

  
do you want to fuck me?

  
_Right now? Yes_

  
Josh ignores the rapid beat of his heart in his chest and glares at his phone at Tyler’s ignorance.

  
oh man, fuck you. I've been tested and im clean, asshole.

  
_"I've been tested and Im clean" you kinda make me laugh. You're worrying about my opinion._

  
_How fucking cute._

  
why do I even talk to you

  
_'cause you want me to fuck you so hard your balls hurt_

  
Fair enough Josh thinks, laying down on his stomach. He might as well get comfortable while texting him.

  
yeah I do, have you seen yourself?

  
you're hot, but you're still an asshole

  
_Oh look… a confession_

  
oh sorry, did me getting on my knees and sucking your dick not make that clear enough for you?

_Yeah, well…_

  
_God Josh, you're so cute you're making me sick_

  
yeah yeah, I'm adorable

  
_Shut the fuck up I'm trying to be socially acceptable_

  
_Help me you cunt_

  
you're failing miserably!!!! :)

  
you're alright Tyler, you make me laugh.

fucking weirdo

  
_I'm not sure about fucking you._

  
_But you're interesting._

  
_You’re a bloody fucking whore,_

  
_but an interesting bloody fucking whore._

  
_I should kiss you._

  
Oh- now that is something Josh could get behind. He’s almost positive Tyler is teasing him at this point though, so he's not going to get his hopes up.

  
how sweet

  
I think you should too, but you probably won't. you're too much of a pussy.

  
_Reverse psychology, huh?_

  
damn, totally thought I'd get away with that one

  
_I will kiss you._

  
_Are you excited?_

  
very.

  
are you?

  
_Don't ask me. Just brush your teeth before that. I'm not a fan of the way cock's taste._

  
“Such a fucking asshole.” Josh mutters to himself with a roll of his eyes.

  
why do you think so low of me? It's like you think I'm out here sucking dick every day and night

 

  
_'cause your inner suffering makes me hungry._

  
_I want to consume you in every way possible_

  
poetic

  
weird, but poetic.

  
_Sit with me in class._

  
give me one good reason why I should and I will

  
I'm waiting

  
_I will draw dicks on your cute hand during the lecture_

  
_Isn't that enough?_

  
_And kiss your neck. Say stupid things. Make you laugh._

  
Fuck, Josh is screwed.

  
I'm okay with that

  
really okay with it actually

  
so I guess I'm sitting next to you tyler

  
_;)..._

  
_Is there someone interested in you?_

  
Well, that took a turn. Josh almost scoffs at the message because why does it fucking matter? He rolls over onto his back, reminding himself to keep his cool.

  
yeah, you.

  
but if anyone else is, can you blame them? look at me

  
kidding, I don't know. why?

  
_Just curious. Dick._

  
awww would you be jealous if someone was interested in me?

  
_I’ve known you for two days. I would be curious to know why they are interested in you, though._

  
_Since you're not likable at all._

  
_Fag._

  
_:^)_

  
_You should jerk me off in class._

  
_You play drums, you're good at jerking people off. I bet on it_

  
_[one image attached]_

  
Josh just stares at the picture, his fingers stilling instantly. It was just a picture of him in this black jacket, only his neck was exposed and a bunch of purple bruises littered it, his hand pulling at the hem to make them show more.

  
Josh feels his jealousy build up; he fucked someone else, but left him.

  
sounds like you’re eager for me to get my hands on you

  
maybe next time I'll be leaving marks on your neck

  
_Hey, hey, hey._

  
_Isn't your roommate the captain of the football team?_

  
yup. how'd you figure that one out? he likes to keep that shit hidden

  
_I like to listen to people's shit in the halls_

  
_Why does he keep it hidden?_

  
_Oh wait, because you're a fag?_

  
_Does he bother you?_

  
no. we have a compromise of sorts going on. it's not a big deal, just forget it.

  
_Tell me about it._

  
he's a faggot. caught him sucking the quarterbacks dick one day. he told me to promise not to say shit or... yeah, you get the point. he doesn't want people to know he rooms with the gay kid either because reputation and all.

  
see? not a big deal

  
_oooh well... that's something interesting._

  
it's always fun knowing people's dirty little secrets

  
_It is… call me._

  
fine.

  
No, not fine. Not fine _at all_. Josh sits up and pulls at his hair, the nervous habit sneaking up on him. Why the fuck had he agreed to that? What would they even talk about? This was going to end up being a disaster and Josh shouldn't have let his pride dictate his actions and-

  
_I'm waiting_

  
_Too slow._

  
His phone starts ringing and he stares at Tyler’s contact name before he curses and answers.

  
“Hey Josh,” Tyler speaks as soon as Josh breathes on his end, his voice a bit rough, but strangely friendly.

  
“Hey,” Josh says cautiously, not sure if he should trust the friendliness just yet. “What’s up?”

  
“I forgot how you sounded,” Tyler sighs and Josh almost melts. “Very gay. Are you free right now? I was wondering…”

  
Josh stays quiet, glaring at his walls as Tyler’s voice trails off.

  
“Wondering if what?” Josh asks, waiting for Tyler to speak again. “Tyler?”

  
“Do you want to hang out?” Tyler finally answers and Josh chuckles. “I mean, we can do something.”

  
“Hell yeah, where do you wanna meet?” Josh is already up and pulling on his shoes with ease, his phone being held up by his ear and shoulder.

  
“What about…” Tyler pauses to think. “The gym. You said you suck at sports, right? I’ll destroy you in a game of basketball. It would make me feel better.”

  
“Sure, you're on.” Josh laughs, opening his door and locking it once he's out. “See you soon.”

  
He’s happy he left his beanie on once he’s outside, his pink curls having been a mess this morning. He wonders why Tyler needs cheering up and he smiles at the fact he asked him for said help.

  
The sun had long set and the darkness was slightly comforting, the chatter of other students passing by him not even bothering him. The sky was peppered with stars and when he started picking up his pace to the gym, his breath started coming out faster.

  
Once he gets there, slightly out of breath and unbelievably anxious as to how this interaction can go, he looks around to catch a sight of Tyler. He doesn’t and he frowns, not even having thought about getting here before Tyler and having to wait for him. He leans against the wall, adjusting the beanie on his head and looking at his phone.

  
_You're cute with that beanie._

  
_Guess where I am._

  
Josh’s attention snaps up and he looks around. He had this burning dread in his gut that Tyler had stood him up, but he spots him sitting on a bench, near the basketball net. Truthfully, if it weren't for the orange basketball by his thigh, he wouldn't have noticed him in the darkness, his all black attire camouflaging him. When he takes a closer look, he notices a Starbucks coffee in his left hand and a cigarette in his right.

  
Nice face

  
Josh shakes his head and walks over to him, watching him bring his left hand to his mouth and sucking in the smoke before blowing it out smoothly.

  
“I wouldn't have guessed you were a smoker.” He sits down next to him casually, trying not to make things awkward.

  
“I’m not,” Tyler shrugs, words coming out with a small accent. “I just like the idea of getting cancer.”

  
Josh just grabs the coffee out of Tyler’s hand, smirking at him as he takes a sip and ignoring Tyler’s bored expression.

  
“Good coffee at least.”

  
“I just peed in it.” Tyler deadpans, glancing at him from the corner of his eye. He lifts his left hand back to his face, wrapping his mouth around the filter and taking another drag from his cig. He blows it in Josh's face. “Just kidding. I came in it.”

  
So that’s how it’s gonna be. Josh knows this game and he isn't going to let Tyler play him better than he can.

  
“How grunge.” Josh says, keeping his eyes on his as he licks the green Starbucks straw.

  
He wraps his lips around it, sucking the drink into his mouth, hardly trying to hide the barely audible moan that catches in his throat. When he’s done drinking, he bites the straw, teeth showing to hide the grin on his face as he watches Tyler’s pretty face.

  
“Wish you would have came in my mouth last week.” Josh whispers when he sets the drink down, eyeing him carefully. “Just kidding, you're gross. Let’s play.”

  
He grabs the basketball near Tyler and laughs, like an unspoken joke has been shared between the two of them. He turns away, bouncing the ball cluelessly and almost doesn't hear when Tyler speaks.

  
“You can taste me now, Josh.”

  
He pauses, grabbing the ball in his hands and turning to stare at the other boy curiously. It’s an offer, a dirty one at that. This just wasn't adding up; one second Tyler was calling him a little whore and then the next he was asking to be blown, looking completely serious as he watches Josh.

  
He gets up now too, stretching his long limbs and Josh sees skin peek through his sweatshirt.

  
“Are you sure you just want to play?” Tyler slips his fingers under his sweatshirt, lifting it up and letting his tan skin show more for Josh, his sweats riding low and showing off his boxers.

  
Josh is so, so screwed. Especially when Tyler smirks, playfully licking his lips as he stares directly at him, setting Josh’s heart aflame.

  
Josh is confused and horny and what the fuck is he supposed to do? He doesn't want to seem desperate and disgust Tyler again, but at the same time _he_ was the one offering. He drops the basketball and let's it roll away as he walks up to Tyler, ignoring the deafening silence surrounding them.

  
“Are you testing me right now?” He demands skeptically as he looks around to make sure no one is around to watch them.

  
Tyler just continues staring at him and Josh gets an idea, so simple that it makes him smile tauntingly.

  
“Why don't you kiss me first?” His eyes linger on Tyler’s perfect lips before he bites his own innocently.

  
“I want a dirty kiss, not an innocent one. Suck me,” Tyler steps forward, eyes narrowing as his tone lowers. “And then I'll kiss you.”

  
Tyler's mind works in miraculous ways because he's pulling his sweatpants down, freeing his cock from his boxers before Josh can even blink. Josh makes a sound low in his throat at the sight of Tyler jerking himself off and next thing he knows, he’s dropping to his knees and slapping Tyler’s hands away.

  
“Don’t run away this time.”

  
“Take it in your throat,” Tyler replies and Josh can almost feel the arousal dripping into his voice. “Drink it all. I want to hear it when you _swallow_.”

  
Josh’s cock twitches in his sweats at the words, pumping Tyler once and glancing up at him, watching him run his tongue along his lips to moisten them. When he finally gets Tyler in his mouth, lips wrapping around his length and sliding down enough for him to hit the back of his throat without gagging, he almost celebrates.

  
Tyler groans above him, his head falling back and Josh thinks that it's a good thing they're pretty hidden otherwise this would be interesting for people to walk in on. He feels the spit running down his chin and yeah, it’s pretty gross, but Josh chooses to focus on Tyler’s demand.

  
Demand; Tyler can boss him around, tell him to do ridiculous things and he’d probably do them without a second thought. Maybe he was a whore in the end and he should just accept it.

  
He runs his tongue along the underside of Tyler’s cock, licking his slit before sliding back down. He reaches for his beanie, taking it off and silently begging for Tyler to pull on it, hard.

  
“Fuck,” Tyler moans, reaching for Josh’s soft pink hair. He doesn't seem to care that he’s being loud and it turns Josh on even more at the thought of people seeing them together like this.

  
“Fuck, _fuck_.” Tyler growls, fingers tightening in his hair, yanking slightly so Josh looks up at him. A throaty moan passes Tyler lips when Josh swirls his tongue. “You're- You’re so fucking _mine_ , Josh.”

  
Then Josh is being pulled forward by his hair and Tyler starts fucking his mouth without remorse. Josh feels tears brimming the corners of his eyes, but he blinks them away, his nose brushing against Tyler’s navel.

  
“Take it all,” Tyler whispers huskily. “You like my cock? Nod.”

  
Josh feels him yanking at his hair again and he closes his eyes, moaning against him and forgetting what Tyler asked for a second.

  
“ _Fucking nod_.” Tyler pants heavily and Josh snaps his eyes open, nodding the best he can with a fucking dick down his throat.

  
If Josh wasn’t already on his knees they’d be weak.

  
He could tell Tyler was close by the roughness of his voice and his heavy breaths, so he reaches for his own hard on, palming himself through his sweats before abandoning that and slipping his hand into his boxers. He uses his own precome to make it less dry and to be honest, with Tyler slamming the back of his throat, he doesn't think it'll take him long to reach his peak.

  
When Josh moans against him again and feels Tyler’s dick twitch in his mouth, his eyes almost roll back. Tyler is so hot, looking down at him while he fucks his mouth and making his jaw fucking sore. He closes his eyes and slackens his jaw even more for him.

  
“Look at me.” Tyler breathes and then he’s pulling himself out of Josh’s mouth, letting him breathe.

  
Josh glances up at him, lips wet and swollen, eyes hooded with lust as he continues to work his own hand on himself. Tyler’s free hand starts jerking his dick as he watches Josh and fuck if this isn't kinky shit right here, Josh could practically die from his arousal alone.

  
“Look at you,” Tyler whispers softly, palming and jerking himself. “Open your mouth.”

  
Josh does as he’s told, opening his mouth and waiting until Tyler lets out one last filthy groan and is coming, massive spurts falling onto his lips and tongue.

  
“Swallow. Tell me how much you like it, Josh.” Tyler orders, watching him with those hooded, dark eyes, chest rising and falling rapidly. “Tell me, come on.”

  
Fingers tighten in Josh’s hair as Tyler rubs the tip of his cock along his soft, swollen mouth and Josh didn't expect Tyler to be like this at all. He kind of expected him to be all talk with nothing to show for it, but he was so fucking wrong.

  
Josh swallows everything Tyler gives him, like a man starved from water. His hand stills on his dick, squeezing himself as he answers with a groan.

  
“I love it, Ty.” His voice comes out hoarse and shaky having been freshly fucked and his mouth brushes along Tyler’s cock. “You taste so good.”

  
Okay, that’s a lie and if Josh wasn't so desperate to come in his pants like a fucking teenager, he wouldn't have said it. Come doesn't taste that great, but whatever, Josh digresses. He loves the way Tyler tastes anyway.

  
“Did I do good?” He whispers, the need for some sort validation and praise running through his veins.

  
His hand on his cock makes him shudder as Tyler pulls on his hair tight before letting him go completely and stepping away from him.

  
“You’re such a gentleman, Josh,” Tyler smiles, sharp and menacing. “Thanks so much for that. Have a good night.”

  
Josh’s mind goes blank as Tyler pulls his clothes back on and waves at him as he walks away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boya and I are both going to hell and we're dragging everyone down with us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY! IMPORTANT NOTES!
> 
> please please PLEASE do NOT read if you are easily triggered by:
> 
> -Blood play  
> -unprotected (but consensual!) sex  
> -self harm
> 
> seriously, just skip over this chap if that stuff bothers you, stay safe y'all.

_I liked it, fam._

It’s so ambiguous, so vague that if Josh were an idiot, he’d completely miss what he was talking about.

The night before didn't go exactly as Josh had planned and when Tyler practically left him there, he made the decision to cut off contact with him even though he knew that wouldn't last long (less than 24 hours really, Josh is a weak bitch). 99% of his willpower was itching to reply to him, so naturally, that’s what he does.

thanks, fam. I try my best.

wish I could say the same for you.

_Ah, come on, don't be like that._

I'll be however I want after the shit you pulled

don't expect to get your dick sucked by me again any time soon bro

_Ahhhh you wanted that kiss so bad?_

_Come on I had to go._

_I'll buy you coffee._

Starbucks?

_You're easy to please_

_Starbucks._

I'm not pleased yet.

but coffee helps.

_You're so cute._

_Want a kiss with the coffee?_

something tells me it's more likely for you to drop your drink on me and leave than actually kiss me

_What's on your mind_

_I know you're tripping like a motherfucker on this_

_So why do you think I haven't kissed you yet?_

_Tell me your theories_

because you're weird and like to play mind games.

maybe you're tryna see how long you can string me along and keep me interested

or maybe it's because you're lonely and like the attention I give you hm

to be honest, I don't get you. at all.

_But you like me._

debatable.

_Has anyone been bothering you lately?_

what makes you think that?

_The fact you asked me if I spread the rumours about you._

just a couple of people. nothing I can't handle

awww tyler, you care?

_No, I don't care. I just want to know, lil fag_

_Why are they bothering you?_

you know, you pretending to give a shit about my bullying issues is actually kinda cute

_I’m waiting._

I don't care.

_I want to know_

_TELL ME._

do you have a kink for hearing about how almost the entire football team is bullying and threatening me just cause I'm a faggot?

captain fuckfaces girlfriend spread the news like wildfire after she caught me sucking your dick lmao

_Ah…._

_I’m gonna fuck their faces up._

_Would you like to watch while I take their dignity?_

hmm yeah that'd be fun to see

_Aren't you worried they'll beat me up?_

weird twink vs football team

I think you can take them

I'll be cheering for you

_I'm not a twink, you're a twink._

_I'm ordering a pizza. Do you want one?_

are you fucking kidding me

yes

_Come over. What do you want?_

pineapple pizza

_You’re shit._

so are you

what a match :)

_Shut the fuck up_

I'll come by when my class finishes

Tyler only replies to him to let him know his dorm and room number and true to his word, Josh heads straight over after his complementary class.

_Stay the night._

Josh’s face heats up as he reads it, stopping in his tracks. Should he go get clothes from his dorm before heading over? Thinking of his pizza getting cold made his decision for him and he continues making his way to Tyler’s dorm.

okay.

He makes it to Tyler’s dorm and heads up the stairs to his room and once he’s there, he just stares, dumbfounded. There's a war waging itself inside his head of all the pros and cons of what could happen tonight and after battling his anxiety and pushing it down enough to have the courage to knock on the door, he holds his breath.

“Open the door, loser.” He tries to go for casual, for something that made it look like he wasn't pissed about last night.

“Come in, homo. It’s unlocked.” Tyler calls back and sure enough when Josh twists the door handle, it's unlocked.

Face burning, he closes the door behind him and when he turns to find Tyler, he’s sitting on his bed, back leaning against the bedframe and his long legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He smirks and blows a taunting kiss at him, urging him to get closer.

“Come here,” Tyler waves him over when he doesn't move and continues smirking. “Did you bring your pink penguin pajamas?”

Josh snaps himself out of his stupor and rolls his eyes, kicking off his shoes with a huff of breath. As he walks over, Tyler moves so he’s sitting cross legged and Josh sits where his legs were occupying.

“Sorry pal,” Josh sighs dramatically. “We need to have _at least_ 3 sleepovers before you get to see my penguin pajamas.”

“Tragic. We’ll probably never get to 3 sleepovers.”

Josh notices the pizza boxes on the floor and reaches for one, quickly grabbing a slice (not pineapple) and taking a bite.

“I’m not having sex with you tonight,” Josh says when he swallows. “So if that's why I'm here, I'll just take my pizza and go.”

“I wasn't calling you here to have sex. This isn't some kind of pizza prostitution hotline.” Tyler’s smile widens and Josh forces himself not to roll his eyes. “I like you.”

Josh takes another bite to get more time to think of an answer, because how does he even reply to someone he’s clearly interested in admitting they like him too?

“I like you, too.” Josh says when he’s done, licking his lips and almost groaning. That sounds clingy and a bit desperate. “Sometimes.”

“Interesting,” Tyler smirks and leans forward. “What do you wanna do Josh? Study? Smoke? Nap? You decide.”

“Let’s smoke.” Josh shrugs.

He’s not a big smoker of anything, but he wasn't really against it either. He leans forward enough for their noses to touch, although he’s not going to be the one to initiate the kiss. Breath mingling together and eyes staring at one another, Josh finds himself smiling.

“Do you really want me to sleep here?”

He leans away then and Tyler follows him, his mouth ghosting over his jaw before he rubs his nose against his cheek. Josh stops breathing for a second, his hands dying to reach forward to make sure the boy in front of him is real and not a figment of his imagination.

“I don’t want to today,” Tyler murmurs softly, kissing his cheek gently. “But you can do it.”

Josh hums in response, not trusting his voice just yet.

“In my arms, though.” Tyler’s fingers wrap around his wrist and pull him forward as he spreads his legs enough to have Josh crawl between them. Then as if it were an afterthought, adds on. “Yes, I want you to sleep here.”

“Nah, I won't if you won't. Social smoker.” Josh explains, debating whether or not to get in between Tyler’s legs. He bites his lip, moving before he can register it.

“More like social moron.” Tyler snorts and Josh shifts slightly, placing a hand on his chest once he’s comfortable. Tyler’s neck is exposed to him and he can't help himself from placing a featherlight kiss against the hollow of his throat.

“Tell me more about you, Ty.” He lays his head on his shoulder and looks up at him, the gesture oddly sweet for someone in their situation.

“My life is boring.” Tyler rests his chin on top of Josh’s head. Josh notices Tyler is chewing gum and stifles a smile at the scent of strawberry. “You know a lot about me already. You know I eat people and that I find you cute.”

Josh rolls his eyes when he sees that wicked smirk of Tyler’s spreading on his lips.

“I mean, I hate you, but I like your hair.” Tyler continues, that same nonchalant air surrounding him. His eyes dart to his messy pink curls. “I think you'd look better with something colder, though. Like a blue or a green. Something edgy.”

“I was gonna do blue next, actually.” Josh finds himself mesmerized with the curve of Tyler’s lips. “Dunno if I'll look edgy with it.”

Tyler’s hand tangles itself in his hair, absently playing with it and Josh sighs, shifting on top of him to get more comfortable.

“I've got an innocent looking face, don't I?” Josh mumbles, lips brushing against Tyler’s neck.

It’s weird being with Tyler without a superior motive behind them hanging out. Usually they're trying to fuck or get blown or _something_ when they see each other and it was playing with Josh’s head a bit.

“You do.” Tyler agrees and pulls his hair enough to have their faces looking at each other. “And you're even more stupid when you've got a crush.”

“A crush? As if.” Josh’s breath hitches in his throat when Tyler kisses his cheek again.

Tyler looks into his eyes before smirking and moving straight to his lips, kissing him quickly and making Josh’s brain short circuit with the gentle press of his lips on his.

They stare at each other, Josh’s mouth opening to speak and shutting quickly because there's nothing to _say_.

“What? Shocked I’d actually kiss you?” Tyler mocks and Josh narrows his eyes, rolling over, his legs landing on either side of Tyler’s hips and hovering above him.

“Shocked you finally found the balls.” Josh growls and leans back in, his hands on the sides of Tyler’s head, keeping him up and balanced while Tyler grips at his hips roughly.

They kiss again and again, tongues slipping into the other's mouth, tangling together, breaths coming out in gasps when they pull away every so often and Tyler is grinning, hardly winded at all and it just makes Josh want to kiss it off his face.

So that’s what he does.

 

\---

 

_Do you like me?_

what do you think?

_How can you like me. Are you a masochist?_

_I'm not being miserable, I fucking love myself_

_But I'm asking 'cause I'm curious_

I never said I liked you.

_You said_

_You said you like me._

_I remember it._

_Ass…_

I said I like you sometimes!

you've gotta earn me liking you full time ha

  
_How can I do that?_

_Tell me...._

well don't be a dick first off

I dunno ty, just be you I guess.

and buy me pizza at least once a week

_You don't like when I'm a dick to you, homoking?_

_Ah, you're taking the pizza prostitution thing seriously_

_I get it GAYLORD_

oh my god shut up faggot

_What did you call me?_

oooo can you not read suddenly?

_You want me to punish your stupid fucking mouth?_

you wanna fuck my mouth? make me choke on your cock as punishment? sign me up!

_Oh.. Josh.. I'm gonna fuck your insides so bad you'll beg me to tear you apart_

_Are you doing this to others? Don't you dare fuck or suck anyone's dick without my permission_

I'll believe it when you actually do it

no I'm not

but even if I was what's it to you?

_You're mine, Josh._

_I'll kill them all. Do you want this to happen to your fuckboys, Josh?_

_Do you, Josh?_

_Answer me_

you don't scare me.

_Do it. I dare you to fuck someone else._

tyler, why would I fuck someone else when I already want to fuck you?

Josh waits for an answer to come, but he’s met with radio silence. Of course he’d been the one to say the wrong thing when Tyler was the one being weird and taunting him. Why should he have expected otherwise?

_Oh nice_

_A little blonde cutie just asked me for my number_

_Do I look like a faggot now? Damn you're one contagious motherfucker_

Josh shouldn't get jealous and he definitely shouldn't be petty, but what fun would that be?

you're such a fucking hypocrite

_Am I?_

you have no idea.

_Ah stop it_

_I mean, I could be._

_But that's not the point._

_You're mine, I'm not yours_.

I’m yours, huh? since when?

because we sure as hell aren't anything

and you acting like a jealous asshole isn't charming

_I'm not even remotely jealous._

_I’m possessive, there's a difference._

oh go fuck yourself.

 

\---

 

  
Josh kind of prides himself to the fact he’s an easy going guy. He doesn't take things out of proportion and he usually heard people out when they ask to talk to him, but it seems Tyler has ruined even this for him.

See, it’s not even the fact Tyler is a fucking douchebag - a _gorgeous_ douchebag, but that's not the point - that makes Josh angry and upset. It’s the fact that he thinks he _owns_ him. He wasn't a possession, he wasn't an object and he can damn well do whatever the hell he wants, regardless of what Tyler wants.

If it weren't for the fact Josh had thought about Tyler's lips wrapped around his cock while he’s gotten off in the shower numerous times in the last few days, he wouldn't have bothered with him. No matter how many times he tells himself he’s done with Tyler and his mind games, he knows he really isn't. Besides, he was sort of waiting for Tyler to text him first - preferably with an apology, but hey, beggars can't be choosers - and he finally did.

At fucking 2:00am.

_You're not texting me since our… disagreement._

no sorry, I guess I've been busy.

_What does your "busy" mean?_

oh you know, studying for finals, doing homework, figuring out where the fuck we stand after that argument, the usual

would you be mad if I told you I was waiting for you to text me?

_No._

_I always knew you were desperate._

only desperate for your dick

and maybe your company

_You’re…_

_...so easy._

yeah, that's what you keep saying.

and yet the only person I've been intimate with since we met is you.

_Do I turn you on?_

understatement of the century.

_Do I make the butterflies in your stomach fly?_

_Answer that one with something equally humoristic._

like what? "oh yes Tyler, they're soarin', flying, what would I have ever done without you?"

_Unique._

like you.

was that cliché enough for you?

dick.

_You find comfort in it, am I correct?_

_You find comfort in fighting even the darkest things with humour._

_It's less sad if you laugh about it. Am I right, Josh?_

that's a generalization.

but yeah I guess humour is my coping mechanism

_That's Josh._

_I want to kiss you._

how do you deal with sad things Tyler? I try and joke about them, but what do you do?

yeah, of course you do.

_I don't find things sad._

everyone finds things sad.

_Not me._

I don't believe you.

_I want to kiss you._

_I want to kiss you right now._

and what exactly is stopping you?

_My boner._

HA

unreal

_I don't want to jerk off._

_I just want your tongue_

_Um._

that's sweet tyler

beg for it

_You’re the one who begs…_

_I’m hungry. I'm so hungry, Josh_.

He shifts uncomfortably in his bed, sparing a fleeting thought at how… unlike himself Tyler was acting. So unsure. It felt weird and not the good kind of weird that usually followed his conversations with Tyler. It felt like something-is-wrong-but-I'm-not-telling-you weird.

I'll bet it sounds just as hot when you do it

so… eat something.

_Ha…._

_I'm gonna go eat. Sleep and answer me when I text you._

you seem off

are you okay?

_I am. Answer my texts. Remember not to make me wait, Josh._

okay... I won't, ty.

go eat

Next thing he knows he’s asleep and waking up to his alarm blaring and the same routine of getting ready for his classes, etc etc.

Has Josh mentioned how much he hates college? Well. He hates college.

_I’m here_

thanks for the announcement

Josh scoffs and ignores the rest of Tyler’s messages for the day, he really didn't want to deal with him. It’s bad enough Josh was always thinking about him and what he was doing or how his day was going, he didn't need to have Tyler bossing him around on top of it. He didn't need the fucking crush he had on him either and if it would go away, Josh would be very satisfied, beyond happy even.

Life doesn't work that way though, so Josh’s attempt and solution to try and forget about the stupid boy taking over and orbiting his thoughts is to hang out with his friends. What blows his mind is that it’s not even weird; they all pick up from wherever they left off last time as if they talk every single day instead of the reality where they hadn't spoken in weeks and for that, Josh is grateful.

He ends up going to grab a bite down by this tiny hole in the wall Chinese restaurant near campus because Debby and Dustin had outvoted him and his begging for Taco Bell.

It's fun until he gets home and sees a single message from Tyler on his phone.

_I told you something yesterday, can you please repeat it for me?_

There's no reason for Josh to feel so intimidated and a bit turned on at the authority that would have surely clung to Tyler’s voice if he had spoken the sentence to him, but here he is, an absolute mess of a person.

to answer your texts and not make you wait

it's fun taunting you though ty, can you blame me?

_I don't like this kind of taunting. It makes me inexplicably angry._

holy shit.

inexplicably, huh?

sexy.

_You'll be sorry if you find this kind of behavior 'sexy'._

_What did you do today? Since you completely forgot about me :)_

is that a threat?

and I have a life outside of you

I was with friends... hanging out.

_Who did you hang out with and what did you do._

that's classified information

 _Josh…_  
_[1 image attached]_  
_Look…_

The picture is of him and one of his exes kissing and truthfully, Josh didn't know where Tyler was finding these because he’d deleted most of them from basically everywhere.

He sat down quickly on his bed, having already taken off his shoes when he got in. Considering his roommate wasn't around right now, he probably wouldn't come back for the rest of the night.

here's an idea

stop stalking me

and come kiss me yourself

_You like my mouth that much?_

id like your mouth a lot more if it was on me right now

_You're thirsty._

_But I have to eat. And sometimes eating is more important than kissing a broken boy._

Josh’s brain starts blaring warning bells almost automatically, his eyes sweeping over the message over and over as if it would be explained somehow if he read it enough.

….broken boy?

_Broken boy. Don't make me explain things, you don't even deserve it._

He wants to ask what the fuck Tyler means because the last thing he would describe himself as is _broken_. He’s perfectly fine and normal and nothing was wrong with him so what the fuck? Tyler shouldn't start assumptions about him if they were wrong on top of it.

I don't understand where you got your reasoning behind that but whatever

go eat and leave me alone, yeah?

_You give mixed signals…_

_-Josh, 2017_

Is he fucking serious? The motherfucker is serious. What kind of mess did Josh drag himself into? Why does he have to go for the weird, fucked up ones?

you STILL give me mixed signals

I can't figure you out tyler

but you have me figured out don't you?

_Kind of._

_Not totally._

_I just want to touch your ass right now._

_And kiss you._

He’d be a dirty liar if that confession didn't go straight to his dick. After calling him broken his body has the audacity to react like this over the shit Tyler tells him and it irks Josh more than he’d like. He brings a hand up to brush his curls off his face with a groan and has to force himself not to palm himself through his jeans.

fuck you

I hate that I want you so bad right now

_We're so cute together._

_You just can't decide if you love me or hate me_

_I like this situation._

I definitely don't love you, I'm not that naive.

_Oh, you're so so naive._

_That's why I like you so much. You keep that trait well hidden, but it's there_

_I love it._

Josh closes his eyes and breathes deeply through his nose. Tyler likes him and Josh shouldn't feel so electrified right now, his heart thrumming quickly in his chest. Maybe if he chants _boner, boner go away come again another day_ in his head long enough it'll work.

don't say that shit to me tyler

you sure don't act like you love anything about me

_Really?_

_I love your face._

_And your body, and your humor._

A whine rips it's way out of his throat and it's pathetic that this is all it takes for Josh to kick his jeans off and reach for his hard on, hissing at the contact with the fabric of his boxers. He presses his palm flat against himself and lets his head roll to the side, sighing and getting the idea to call Tyler all at once.

After a second of weighing the pros (getting off to Tyler's voice) and cons (...nothing), he decides that phone sex with Tyler couldn't be _that_ bad.

fuck, why are you doing this to me right now?

I need you so bad baby

please just... call me?

wanna hear your voice while I..

When Tyler doesn't call him right away, Josh almost throws his phone at the wall in frustration.

“Come on, Tyler.” Josh whispers, squeezing his thigh tightly between his fingers to distract himself from his painfully hard cock. When his phone starts vibrating he answers it right away, without any hesitation whatsoever.

“‘Baby’? That's new.” Tyler says and his voice is low and sultry and yeah, Josh’s hand is in his boxers now, stroking himself lightly, using his precome to make it less dry and biting his lip.

“Shut up or I'll start calling you daddy,” Josh warns, voice high and breathy on his end.

“Daddy, huh? That’s so high school kink.” Tyler hums when Josh’s breath hitches. “You saying you want me to own you?”

“Fuck, I'm all yours Ty, just…” Josh shudders, his eyes slipping closed. “Keep talking. Tell me what you want to do to me, baby, c’mon.”

“Damn, you're so cliché.” Tyler pauses and when he speaks again, Josh’s dick twitches. “Get up and do what I say.”

Oh god, oh god, oh god, this is exactly how he pictured Tyler’s voice when he read the first text an hour ago, all demanding and filled with authority. He takes his hand off himself, letting out a soft moan before nodding to no one.

“Okay yeah, I’m listening.”

“Take a knife,” Tyler orders and Josh bites his lip again. “It doesn't matter what kind, just take it and come back to bed.”

“Okay, I’m-” He gets up, cutting himself off as he thinks of where he put his switchblade. He checks his suitcase and finds it in one the secret pockets. “Alright now what?”

He holds it tightly in his hand, flicking it open while he sits down on the bed quickly, his dick painfully hard and aching. He wants Tyler to be here, to help him out, but whatever this was the next best thing.

“Lick it.” Tyler says and Josh obeys, bringing the knife to his lips and letting his tongue glide onto the cool metal effortlessly. “Feel the blade on your stomach.”

Josh whips off his shirt in a heartbeat, pressing the cold blade running along his abs, careful not to cut himself in the process. The cold makes goosebumps rise on his skin and he whimpers, waiting for Tyler to speak again.

“S’good Tyler, fuck.” Josh whispers instead, not being able to help himself. This was so dangerous and riské that it was even more of a turn on for him.

He’s so fucked up.

“On your chest,” Tyler continues and Josh sighs, doing as told. “Do you like me?”

“Fuck,” Josh closes his eyes, wetting his lips. “I like you a lot more than I care to admit, Ty.”

“Are you my little fucking whore, Josh?” Tyler purrs and Josh moans, freezing in place and forgetting about the switchblade in his hands for a second. “Answer me.”

“God, if you want me to be, yes.” Josh replies, breathless and desperate. “Please, Tyler.”

“Josh...” Tyler says quietly and then falls into silence, making Josh snap his eyes open. The small knife in his hands beginning to move down his body carefully again, his arousal flaring.

“Y-Yeah?” Josh tries to urge him to continue. “Come on, what else do you want me to do? Please, Ty, talk to me. Come _on_.”

“Carve my name on you,” Tyler tells him and Josh almost drops the switchblade. “Do it, Josh. I want to see it. Carve.”

This is _not_ how Josh imagined their conversation would go, but he was also way beyond the point of being surprised that he just looks down at himself curiously.

“I'm, I don't- I don't know where?” Josh stutters, his voice sounding as dazed as he feels at agreeing to this. “Where do you want it?”

“I want it carved in your inner thigh, I want to lick it.” Josh can practically hear the smile in his voice. It’s when Tyler says his name and lets it trail off that snaps Josh back into doing whatever he says.

“This is crazy, you know? I can’t believe I'm doing this for you,” Josh rambles and takes a deep breath before bringing the knife down on his inner thigh. He hisses in pain, but doesn't stop. “Fuck, it hurts. Talk to me, distract me!”

“You’re doing so good, baby,” Tyler purrs again and Josh almost forgets about all the blood on his thigh for a second. _Baby_. “Can you feel it? Can you feel the pain?”

His first reaction is to shout _no shit you fucker,_ but all that leaves his lips is a pathetic whimper as he continues his assault on himself. Maybe he was a fucking masochist, that would make sense. A masochist with a pain kink. Double fucked up.

“Yes, yes, fuck Tyler, there's so much blood.” His voice is high as he looks at the mess he’s made, panic rising in his chest.

“You excite me,” Tyler breathes over the phone and Josh groans, reaching up and palming himself again as he finishes up Tyler’s name. “Carve deeper.”

“It hurts, I need to-” Josh’s head is spinning and he takes a deep breath to calm down. “I need to clean it.”

“No. Go get salt and rub it in, it'll make it stop.”

Salt seems like a really sketchy thing to put on a wound, but Josh can't really think straight because he’s convinced he’s bleeding to death. He gets up, purposely ignoring the blood running down his leg and walks toward his desk where he keeps small little salt packs that he gets whenever he orders pizza and fries. They came in handy most times because he liked extra salt on his fries, okay? Besides, if Tyler is telling him it'll help, then even better.

He walks over and grabs a towel now too, sitting at the edge of the bed and dabbing his fresh wound quickly and looking at the mangled writing of Tyler's name.

“You’re doing so good Josh, so good…” Tyler is telling him and he’s happy he has the phone on speaker now because his hands are starting to shake.

 _Deep breaths_ , he reminds himself as he opens the packet and drops the salt onto the wound. He thought maybe it would numb the pain, not amplify it tenfold and the shocked scream the passes his lips makes him bite down on his lip hard.

“Fuck, it hurts, God fucking _dammit._ ” He hisses and presses the towel into the wound again with shaking fingers. “What the fuck am I doing, Tyler? _Tell me._ ”

“I already told you.” Tyler replies simply and Josh almost yells again, only this time in frustration.

“It’s still bleeding, fuck baby, what do I _do?_ ” Josh’s voice raises with each word and he knows he’s starting to freak out completely, he can feel it.

“I'm already on my way to you.” Tyler says and Josh is fucked in the head because he almost _moans_ at the thought of Tyler coming to his rescue.

“Just hurry.” Josh groans and hangs up the phone, tossing it on his desk while trying to clean his leg up and wincing at the pain.

Why did he think this was a good idea? He didn't get off _and_ now his leg is hurting, the feeling almost like he’d lit his own leg on fire for fun.

Tyler must have been walking towards his dorm for a while because not even two minutes later, there’s a knock at the door and Josh almost jumps out of his skin at the shock of it.

Shakily, he gets up and walks toward his door, swinging it halfway open because if for some reason it isn't Tyler, he doesn't want them to see the mess he’s made of himself. Thankfully, when he notices Tyler, his smirk on his face and his characteristic skinny jeans and tank top, he lets out a relieved breath.

What he doesn't expect is for Tyler to push his way in, shutting the door quickly and then slamming Josh against the wall roughly, causing a groan to pass his lips.

“You’ve been so good tonight, huh _baby?_ ” Tyler almost growls and Josh can't deny the familiar feeling in his gut. “Such a little slut.”

“Yeah,” Josh agrees and Tyler leans forward to kiss him, teeth knocking together at the roughness of it.

For a second Josh forgets about his leg and lets himself get lost in the kiss until Tyler pulls away with a smug look on his face, his eyes trailing down his body and to his bleeding thigh.

“Let’s have a better look at that, shall we?” Tyler doesn't even give him time to react before he’s all but tossing him on the bed and getting between his legs.

“Take off your shirt.” Josh breathes and Tyler freezes before moving away from him and getting completely _naked._

This was going _way_ better than Josh thought it would.

Tyler gets back between his legs, spreading them further apart before his ghosting his fingers along his name and getting blood all over his hand. It’s not until he presses his hand into it harder that Josh hisses in pain, jerking upward.

“Hey, easy!” Josh snaps and Tyler wraps a blood soaked hand around his throat.

“Shut up.” Tyler orders slowly and Josh moans, the tightening of Tyler’s fingers not scaring him in the least.

The boy above him lets him go, kissing down his neck and his chest up until he reaches his thigh and then he’s biting down, and licking, and sucking around the wound. Josh arches his back at the pain mixing with the pleasure and he almost begs Tyler to do _something_.

Josh doesn't realize that the entire wound has started bleeding even more until he sees Tyler’s cheek covered in his blood and his hands are moving to take off Josh’s boxers.

“This okay?” Tyler asks, almost challenging him to say no and Josh nods, not backing down.

“Yes.” He tells him and Tyler grins, sharp and menacing before his fingers are back on his bloody thigh. “What are you doing?”

“You ever used anything besides lube?” Tyler asks instead and Josh shakes his head, a look of wonder on his face. “Oh, this should be _fun_.”

Tyler doesn't warn him when he sticks his blood soaked finger into him and Josh jerks in surprise, his eyes widening at the slight burn. He looks up at Tyler’s smirking face as he starts to move his finger around and he bites his lip to stop his moan.

When he adds a second finger Josh whimpers, the lack of lube making it a bit more painful than he was used to, but after a while he gets used to it, to the feeling and Tyler’s other hands starts gripping at his waist, his ribs and purposely ignoring his cock.

It’s not until he adds a third finger that Josh starts hissing in pain, fisting his hands in the sheets and throwing his head to the side to try and distract himself.

Why the fuck won't Tyler kiss him? This is when he should be kissing him, not smirking down at him like his pain was enjoyable.

“ _Kiss me_.” Josh almost begs and when Tyler brings up his hand gripping his ribs to his jaw, jerking it to the side, Josh bites his lip.

“I thought I told you to _shut up_.” Tyler growls, taking his fingers out of him and looking down at his carved up name. He leans back down, biting another bruise against his skin and making the blood flow again.

Josh yelps, the pain subsiding to a dull ache now and watches Tyler lapse up the blood in his hand and spread it along his cock. This is how he’s going to go out, Josh thinks, death by fucking sex.

Honestly, he should have known it would hurt a bit because like, even though technically blood was a substitute for lube, it still _wasn't_  lube, so the initial shock of pain in his ass as soon as Tyler pushes into him makes him bring a hand up to grip at his shoulder tightly, his nails digging into his skin.

Tyler growls low in his throat, knocking Josh’s hand away and tossing his leg over his shoulder, pushing deeper into him and Josh almost loses it, his heart beating wildly in his chest and his eyes rolling back in his head until Tyler bottoms out.

“Come on, come on, come on.” Josh starts chanting, begging him to move, to make him _feel_ something as he moves his head to the side, exposing his throat. He almost starts jerking himself off to piss Tyler off.

A hand grips at his jaw, turning his head back and slipping down to circle around his throat so he was looking right up at Tyler. He leans down, nipping at Josh’s jawline before he start moving again, the burn making Josh lift his hips up to meet his thrusts halfway and close his eyes.

Tyler tightens his grip and Josh can't breathe for a second, his eyes snapping open to gasp and fill his lungs with air.

“Look at me,” Tyler says, tightening his grip. “ _Understand?_ ”

He doesn't even think twice as he nods the best he can and Tyler loosen his grip with a grunt, leaning down on his elbows and biting at Josh’s shoulder roughly.

Josh keeps his eyes open, moaning when Tyler hits his prostate and doesn't realize his hands are back to trying to grab onto something and only being met with Tyler’s chest because of their position. He doesn't realize he’s leaving scratches, he doesn't notice all the blood around them, he just sees Tyler’s rueful smile as he fucks into him harder and faster and his head starts fucking spinning.

“You stupid fucking whore,” Tyler spits out, the words making Josh jerk like he’s been electrified. “You like being fucked like this don't you? All dirty and wild?”

When he goes to open his mouth and say _yes_ , Tyler’s glare stops him in place, the emotions filling his face surprising him slightly.

“I told you not to fucking speak, Josh.” Tyler doesn't slow down his pace and Josh wants to beg him to touch him, he’d probably be ready to blow his load with one stroke the way Tyler was talking to him.

Who knew he’d have a kink for being degraded in bed?

“You're _mine_ ,” Tyler growls and kisses his neck before biting it and making Josh groan out a _please, Tyler_. He licks at the mark he makes and snaps his hips against Josh’s. “No one else can have you.”

“Touch me,” Josh begs, because he’s clearly not above begging. He needs this like he needs air to breathe. “Touch me Tyler, please, please, come on-”

“Such a pretty boy,” Tyler rasps and obliges Josh's command, wrapping his hand around his cock and jerking him off almost torturously slow. Josh almost yells in frustration, his eyes stinging with tears for the first time all night. “So pretty. Look what you've done to yourself, all for me.”

And then by some miracle, Tyler moans above him for the first time since getting _inside_ him and Josh can't help it when his vision explodes with stars and his mouth falls open in a silent cry, the other boy continuing his thrusts above him as Josh spills all over his stomach.

“Nobody else can have you like this,” Tyler tells him while he’s still trying to catch his breath. “If they do I'll fucking kill them.”

Josh nods, not giving a fuck about whatever Tyler is saying, his voice straining in his throat at the thought of Tyler of all people hurting anyone.

When Josh comes back to himself fully, his soul practically returning into his body after that fucking he just had, it's when Tyler is pulling out of him and dropping down on the bed beside him. He lets out a hiss of pain, his ass practically numb at this point and tries to take his mind away from it.

They breathe heavily for a minute, not saying a word and Josh can feel something running down his leg, not sure if it’s come or blood or _both_. At this point, he couldn't care less because his body is aching and tired and all he wants to do is fucking fall asleep.

“Come here.” Tyler speaks up and Josh does as told, rolling into his embrace without saying a word, the small wince going unnoticed.

He lets himself fall asleep to the feeling of Tyler tracing patterns into his skin.


	4. Chapter 4

Josh startles awake with a hiss, his naked thigh having rubbed against his sheets in the wrong way and sent him lurching up in pain. This definitely wasn't how he expected to wake up, not with the precise reminder of what he’d done. He shudders, taking a deep breath and gathers his surroundings, his eyes sweeping over the planes of his room while his heart sinks.

He’s alone.

It’s fine, he’s totally fine with Tyler leaving him. After the dramatic, borderline traumatizing sexcapade they had last night, it was more than fine. Besides, it's easier when one night stands sneak out before the awkward _hey thanks for the fuck I'll call you sometime_ conversation that would lead to absolutely nothing.

He doesn't want to admit it, but he's sort of hoping he's more than just a one night stand to Tyler.

Shifting slightly with a wince and lifting the sheets, Josh sees the absolute mess he’s made, his blood and come staining the white of his sheets and most probably the mattress too.

Great.

What he desperately needs is a shower to clear his head, so he gets up, careful not to knock his thigh and walks into his bathroom, a gasp leaving his lips when he glances at himself in the mirror.

Did he look like a fucking murder victim with the bloody fingerprints outlining his throat, jaw and chest? Not to forget the purple bruises marking his skin?

Yes.

Did he feel sick to his stomach over what he did last night?

Kind of.

Will he do it again the second he’s given the chance?

Probably.

“You kinky motherfucker, who even are you?” Josh mumbles to himself, his fingers going to trace the marks Tyler left behind on him, his eyes softening through the mirror.

With a shake of his head he jumps into the shower, scrubbing away at all the blood on him, the reminder of Tyler’s touch physically burning his skin, like a lighter being lit on him and he needs the memory _gone_. He purposely ignores the name he’s carved into himself and shampoos his hair as quickly as possible before stepping out and wrapping a towel around his hips.

The cold air clings to his skin as he walks out of the bathroom, only to shove on a clean pair of boxers before walking back in and finding the medicine drawer. He looks curiously into it then back down at his thigh with a pained expression.

It’s not like he could ignore it forever; what if it got infected? That would just suck and Josh wasn't down to find out what an infected wound would feel like. With a sigh, he takes the antiseptic spray he sees and turns to the toilet, placing the lid down. He sits down gingerly and spreads his thighs slightly before spraying the antiseptic on it and biting his lip to stop from yelling.

This shit was almost as painful as actually cutting the name into himself. He tries to ignore the burning sensation he feels, grabbing the gauze in the kit and unwrapping it. Josh wasn't a nurse by any means, he has no idea what the hell he’s doing as he wraps it around his thigh four times and kinda just tapes it together. He feels like that was a little too simple, but shrugs it off with a short, mental pat on the back as he goes to get dressed.

Halfway through putting his jeans on (why the fuck are they so _tight?_ ) his alarm goes off and he’s suddenly reminded that he has to fucking work today. Just his luck, wasn't it? Of course he’d have to work on a day where he just wants to lay in bed and forget the world - and people in general - exists. What the hell was he supposed to do about the hickeys on his neck?

Fuck his life.

He throws on a plain black shirt (his dumb job didn’t allow logos because it wasn't “professional”) and grabs his phone to shut off the annoying alarm. As he does, he notices he has a total of zero messages and he feels his mouth curving downward.

“He doesn't deserve me anyway.” Josh assures himself and turns to his bed, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

He cleans the blood on the floor and strips the bed of the sheets as quickly as he can, not wanting to see the blood anymore. Obviously he wouldn't have time to go do his laundry right now, but he’d leave them in his laundry basket and hope for the best until he finds the time.

The door opens halfway through him carrying the sheets and he almost yelps in surprise, not having expected the company at all.

“Yo, faggot, the hell is up with your blankets?” Cameron, his obnoxious roommate snickers, looking at his own bed to make sure they were clean.

All Josh can think is _ohfuckohfuckohfuck_ and stare blankly back at him, hoping the silence creeps him out enough to drop the subject.

Cameron just raises an eyebrow.

“I was, um,” Josh shuffles his feet nervously, thinking. “Painting and it spilled.”

“Painting? That’s so gay.” Cameron drops his bag to the floor while Josh drops his sheets in the laundry basket, clenching his fists together.

The guy had a few inches on him and he was definitely buffer, more well built from being on the football team, but Josh is pretty sure he could land a few good punches before he dies, so what the hell?

“You’re gay, man.” Josh snaps and next thing he knows he’s being slammed against the wall.

“Don't ever say that shit again, you hear me?” Cameron growls, leaning in closer. “I swear to god, if you _ever_ mention anything to _anyone_ , I’ll-”

“Alright dude, I get it. Let go.” Josh shoves against his chest and the other boy reluctantly lets him go.

Josh grabs his army green jacket and his phone, opening the door to leave and head to work before his room becomes an actual warzone.

“Yeah, leave, you fucking _fairy_.” He hears Cameron snarl and he freezes, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

“Next time.” He whispers, closing the door and using all his willpower to walk away.

To be honest, Josh should have probably called in sick because he was definitely not in the mood to deal with a bunch of fucking sweater wearing hipsters today.

He’s a barista at Teavana and he really would’ve preferred a job where _coffee_ was involved, but Starbucks was too mainstream of a place to work at and his mom always used to drink tea in times of stress. He likes to tell himself it all comes back to the sentimental value to make himself feel better.

Basically Starbucks refused to hire him and Teavana called him in for an interview a day later.

Sue him, he needs the fucking money so he’ll shove his coffee loving morals down his own throat and continue keeping his tea hating thoughts of despair to himself. This job was basically his _fuck you I don't need your money_ to his dad so he shouldn't even be complaining.

God damn would he do sinful, sinful things for free coffee, though.

As he pushes the doors to Teavana open and sees the cluster of afternoon-class students waiting impatiently for their teas, Josh almost spins around and walks back in the direction of his treacherous room. Almost.

“Hey Josh,” His manager greets him when he successfully makes it into the break room. Josh nods, tossing her a smile and a quick wave. “Busy day today. Some kid tried pissing on the floor.”

“No way,” Josh sniffs, mocking sadness as he puts on his apron and places his hat on his head. “I'm bummed I missed that.”

She laughs with a small shake of her head. “Fun night?”

Josh freezes, his hands stilling as he tries to tie the apron behind him. It isn't a big deal, it’s not like he could avoid the fucking facts here. Damn you, Tyler.

 _Don’t make it weird,_ Josh tells himself quickly and finishes tying the apron. He shrugs.

“I guess you can say that.”

_You made it weird. Great job!_

His manager just waves him off, like it wasn't a dumb thing to say. Blushing furiously, he makes his way back out, willingly approaching the wrath of the customers and takes the cash. His coworker smiles gratefully at him, but he pretends not to notice.

“Hi, welcome to Teavana, what can I get for you today?” He fakes a smile and the person gives him an unimpressed look.

“Listen, I've been asking the other chick for a drink for like, 5 minutes.” Josh nods and waits for her to continue. “I want a fruity tea, but it can't be caffeinated and can't have peach, strawberry, blackberry, pineapple or plums.”

Josh gives her his best charming smile. “Not a problem, your name?”

“Jessika with a k.”

Josh suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m gonna need a mango flavoured black tea for Jessika with a k here.” He tells his coworker - Jane? Janice? He doesn't remember - and then turns back to his client. “That’ll be $8.98.”

He takes her money and gives her back her change, politely telling her to move to the waiting area before greeting the next customer cheerfully.

“Yeah hi, I'll have a low fat latte, no foam. Thanks.” The girl says, tapping away on her phone and Josh stares at her until she looks up at him. “What?”

“This place is called _Teavana_ , we serve tea.” Josh tells her as patiently as he can.

“Well, make me a coffee real quick?”

Josh is _this close_ to telling her to shove her nonexistent coffee up her ass, but all he does is shake his head and tell her they don't have any coffee otherwise he’d be drinking some too, but hey, we have an awesome selection of caffeinated tea if you'd like.

The girl scoffs in disbelief and stomps away, mentioning how she’ll never come into this shop again.

“Fucking hipster _bitch_.” Josh mutters under his breath and looks up to the next customer, faking another smile. “Welcome to Teavana, how can I help you today?”

“I ordered the dragonfruit tea a few minutes ago and I'm pretty sure this isn't it.” The man says, clearly displeased with their service.

This was going to be a long shift.

\---

 

As soon as the clock strikes 4, Josh is leaving the counter and walking to the back store, effectively ignoring the urgent calls from his coworkers.

“Sorry, I'm on break!”

Josh doesn't give a fuck about being friends with any of his coworkers. It’s not like he would hang out with them outside of work anyway. He likes living his life in complete solitude, plus he’s already got his few selective friends that he can tolerate. That being said, he wouldn't miss his break to help out in the front because it’s _busy,_ no way. He’d been on his feet for hours now and he needs to take this half hour to sit and relax before going back out there til 6.

He takes his phone out of his back pocket and drops down gently into the worn out brown couch that Josh pretends isn't the grossest thing he’s ever sat in.

Christmas parties and this couch. Enough said. All his coworkers were fucking trashy. He’s pretty sure he's seen his manager and some first semester kid making out on this couch and his manager is _married_.

Whatever.

He unlocks his phone and feels a smile tug at his lips.

_Does it hurt?_

It definitely doesn't take a genius to figure out what Tyler is talking about.

not as much... just stings a little now.

don't start

I'm working

_That means you didn't carve deep enough._

shut up, you seemed pretty pleased with it yesterday.

_I was._

_You were so wet and tight._

_Your body... makes me even more hungry, if that's even possible._

_You have a job, now that's interesting._

_Where?_

Josh shifts and bites his lip, this is definitely not the time to get aroused. He had to go back out there in like, 20 minutes and he’d prefer it much better if he was boner free.

Tyler.

stop it, I'm working.

Teavana, near Starbucks. the land of the ironically uncalm hipster douchebags, I'm sure you've seen it

_It's not my intention to make you feel embarrassed. I'm just stating... facts._

yeah sure, you didn't have to explain all the blood to your roommate now did you?

_I wish I'd fucked you longer._

_You were so into it that you didn't even think about a condom_

Josh groans, dropping his phone in his lap and pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes. What a nightmare; a _good_ nightmare, but still a nightmare. He picks his phone back up.

_Oh right.. the BLOOD. How did you explain that, wise one?_

don't remind me.

I told him I was painting.

he's stupid and bought it

_Ah…_

_Teavana, huh? Now I'm definitely craving some tea…_

no you're definitely not craving tea

go to Starbucks instead

_Why don't you want me there? :(_

_You're such a powerbottom, you know._

I don't want you there when I'm working ‘cause you're too distracting

and yeah... I'm not usually like that, I don't know what came over me man

_You're not usually like that? Well, that's sad.. for the others._

Josh reads the message and looks at the time with a sigh. Getting up and putting his phone away, he walks back out to finish his shift. Truthfully the hour and a half he had left went by pretty quickly, there wasn't much action going on, but the relief that floods his veins when he takes off his uniform when he’s done is unmatchable.

When he checks his phone again, he sees a picture of himself, Debby and Dustin that Dustin posted on his Instagram from the night before. He had his hat on backwards and his arm around Debby's shoulders with his head tilted slightly, all while half of Dustin’s face is cropped out.

He basically looks like a complete asshole.

_You look so fine here, fuck._

you look fine all the time

_Homie, you don't even try to hide your love for me._

_Your homo is showing, you're spreading it everywhere_

Josh huffs out a laugh as he continues to walk back towards his dorm.

says the guy who asked me to carve his name into my skin

_You blame me? I like your thighs._

_By the way there's a reason why I wanted you to put salt on it._

_You know that, right?_

I’ll bite. why?

_Try to guess._

just tell me

_I wanted it to be…_

_Permanent._

Josh stops walking completely, his jaw clenching.

are you fucking with me

_No._

_It’s cute._

_Raw. Like you._

you better hope this shit doesn't stay permanent tyler I swear to god

your name sucks

Josh starts walking again, his hand clenching around the phone a little tighter than usual.

_It will stay there for the rest of your life._

_That's why if you're injured and go to the beach your wounds will heal faster. Salt._

_C’mon, baby…_

_Want me to kiss it?_

oh my god I'm gonna kick your ass

what the fuck

_I suggest you don't even try that_

_I can be kinda cruel when it comes to physical defense_

_Come on, you love it._

_It'll remind you of my cock every time you see it._

I believe you, but I still want to deck you right in the face.

sadistic asshole

_I'm coming to Teavana tomorrow._

_You can spend your break with me._

how do you even know if I'm working tomorrow

_I know a lot of things._

_You'll spend your break with me_

_In the bathroom._

doing what, Tyler?

do tell me.

_You’re gonna…_

_I don't want to jerk off I'm eating a bowl of cereal, Josh._

you're so annoying.

is there ever a time when you're not eating

_I'm always hungry for something_

_It's my nature._

Josh walks into his dorm and heads right to his room, breathing a sigh of relief when he notices that he’s alone again.

hey tyler

_Hey Josh_

tell me something else about you

and maybe I'll consider hanging with you during my break tomorrow.

maybe

_You will know things about me IF YOU hang out with me._

_But now I'm interested in what you're dying to know, to be honest._

_Ask me anything. I'll be honest._

what's the point? you'll probably end up being a cryptic little bitch and leave me more confused

_I said I'll be honest._

Tyler sends him a shirtless mirror selfie and Josh groans, laying down on his ruined bed.

_In the meantime, enjoy._

I want to touch you

tease

why are you so interested in me, huh? you can get anyone, why me?

_Because of your mother._

_And you're cute._

Josh sits up immediately, his eyes widening in shock. That doesn't make sense, he must have read it completely wrong. He brings a shaking hand to rub at his eyes and sure enough, the message is still there when he reopens them.

My mother...

don't mention her ever again, I don't care if you're joking. cool?

_I'm not joking at all, Josh._

_But we can pretend I didn't say that._

_Please, continue with your questions._

“What the fuck is he getting at?” Josh snaps, frustrated and angry.

what do you mean you're not joking?

He shouldn't be angry. It was a stupid thing to get angry about; Tyler was just taunting him, like he always did.

nevermind

forget it

why are you always awake at like 3am? I'm an insomniac, what's your excuse?

_I don't need sleep._

_But you can read that as “I'm an insomniac too”_

_I like your questions, they're not stupid._

everyone needs to sleep, it's human nature

_It is indeed._

hmm.

_I'm not confusing you, am I?_

not yet.

_Cute._

you probably find me desperate, don't you tyler? trying to get to know you like it'll mean anything

_Yeah, you're desperate. But it's not a bad thing since the interest is mutual._

_Ask me anything._

do you have any other friends?

_You mean.._

_fuck-friends?_

be honest.

_Of course_

_Yes, one._

Josh wants to call bullshit on his lie, but just purses his lips and starts tapping his fingers rhythmically against his thigh.

one…

I expected more.

_I'm definitely not a whore, as you can see._

_I actually have sexual intercourses when the personality overcomes the desire of the body._

wow, look at you. would you like a medal?

_You sound wounded, not sarcastic._

“That’s because I am, asshole.” Josh grunts, because yeah, he’s being _used_. How fucking shitty.

do you talk to them like you talk to me?

tyler _._

_Now it's time for my series of questions._

_Are you even trying to hide your bright, visible jealousy?_

_Do you want to be "special"? You don't want to be like the other one, do ya?_

Josh feels his face heating up, in anger or in embarrassment, he's not entirely sure. Probably both.

I'm not trying to hide it, I AM jealous.

I guess I just assumed... whatever. doesn't matter.

I'm not special. I bet you get all your little fuck toys to carve your name into their skin, right? it's standard!

_What did you assume?_

_Tell me._

_You're actually the only one to have my name carved on your thigh._

_You, and her._

_But she's dead. So you're the only one._

I assumed that you cared about me a tiny bit. that I wasn't just a casual fuck to you.

dead? shit that's terrible, I'm sorry.

_Josh,_

_I want to protect you, fuck you, kiss you._

_You’re on the top._

Now Josh was getting irritated with him. Did Tyler think he was a fucking damsel in distress or something?

protect me? I can take care of myself.

"you're on the top" yeah, such a long list of two people.

_You can't do shit._

_Can you shut the fuck up with your stupid ass sarcasm_

_You little shit_

_I’m actually laughing._

I'm glad this is funny to you

_Told ya you were gonna fall…_

that's not the case

I get jealous just like you get possessive

_Jealousy is very different from "possessive"_

_But hey, what do I know..._

_Right, Joshua William Dun?_

Josh jerks at the full name, his entire body tensing and he gets a familiar swirl of emotions in his gut.

is the full name supposed to intimidate me?

call me Joshua next time you fuck me

_No, I was just testing my typing skills on your stupid name._

_You like it?_

_You like “Joshua”?_

depends on who's saying it.

_I’m hard._

that was easy.

_It was._

_Tell me something, come on kitty_

_Kitten_

_Tell me something nice_

“ _Fuck_ me.” Josh groans for the millionth time.

I miss the way you taste ty, if I was there id make you feel so good

I'd get on my knees and let you fuck my mouth until you can't take it anymore

then I'd swallow every last drop for you baby

would you like that? huh? to watch your cum drip down my chin?

_Oh, fuck me_

_I love the way you swallow me_

_Your throat feels so fucking good_

_Your tongue, and your swollen lips_

_I just want to fuck you so hard you can't stand up anymore, Joshua_

fuck.

I love when you get aggressive with me

_I'll mark you in every way possible, stupid fucking kitty_

_I want to ruin your perfect face_

fucking do it tyler, unless you're all talk, yeah?

_I want you to spit blood on my cock_

_Shut up, you lurid whore_

got a major blood kink, don't you baby? you love having my blood on you

make me

_Oh fuck_

Josh grins stupidly wide because he’s left Tyler fucking _speechless_. And he knows Tyler is getting off to all of this.

you're fascinated by it, you think I didn't notice you leaving your bloody fingerprints all over me?

_I love it_

_Your body was fucking created for that kind of thing_

_Your skin, so pale, oh god fuck_

_Come here_

_I want you to swallow everything_

_I'm so in love with your body Joshua_

_Fuck_

you think I'm going to come there, baby? why should I?

He waits and waits for an answer, but it doesn't come and when Josh looks down at himself and realizes he's hard from that conversation, he groans _again_.

It was going to be a long fucking night.

\---

 

Josh has an 8am to 2pm shift the next day.

Does he want to go? No, not really. Morning shifts are the fucking bane of his existence, just like morning classes are. Really, anything involving being out of bed before 11am should be forbidden and against the law.

So yeah, when Josh leaves work and people give him looks because his resting bitch face is in full force, he doesn't really give a shit. Instead he fumbles in his jacket for his stupid phone.

_Fuck I fell asleep_

_Well I saved you the trouble of drinking my cum like a starving man_

_You should be pleased._

Oh, did he forget to mention Tyler completely blew him off on their supposed plan to meet up during Josh’s break? Well, there's that, too.

I hope you cleaned up your mess

_Not really…_

you’re gross

_You swallow._

_Josh._

_What are you doing tonight, you homo_

you didn't come visit me on my break asshat

so you better be making it up to me tonight :)

_So we're hanging out.._

_I had some work to do earlier_

_What do you want me to do tonight?_

_C’mon suggest something…_

_;)_

you should definitely suck my dick

do you swallow, tyler?

_You should suck my dick_

_You’re like my sex slave_

_Send me a dick pic_

you’re so needy

_And you're too slow._

I’m not even in a place where I can take a dick pic for you

_Sure_

_You're going to be good for me tonight aren't you, baby? Gonna listen to me and obey me, aren't you?_

_Tell me what you want me to do, tell me how you want me to use my tongue_

_My fingers_

Josh bites his lip, feeling himself get lightheaded from how badly he fucking wants him. He glances around, making sure he doesn't bump into anyone.

I want you to leave marks all over me, wanna have people asking who fucked me that good, baby.

choke me.

_Oh god I'm gonna make you so sorry for what you just said_

_You make me fucking insane_

_I’m gonna hurt you_

_I’m gonna kill you while fucking you_

you were doing so good with not being weird

Josh walks into his dorm, waves a hello to his RA and goes straight into his room hoping no one saw his obvious hard on.

_There's no fun without the creeps._

just come fuck me already.

_I’m coming, baby._

hurry hurry hurry

or I'll just get off by myself and THAT'S no fun

Josh toes off his shoes and tosses his jacket aside simultaneously, the gestures having become routine. He takes off his beanie, fluffing out his hair and whips off his shirt, his jeans joining the useless pile of clothes on the floor now, too.

He’s not sure if he can wait for Tyler to get here, but he knows deep down in his gut that he should. Tyler seems like the type to ask his partner not to touch themselves unless he says it’s okay and Josh is fucking _torn_ , alright? Practically being ripped to shreds because all he wants to do is wrap his hand around his cock and satisfy himself.

By some miracle, a knock sounds at the door and Josh sends a quick _thanks God, you're a real homie_ prayer to the ceiling before going over to answer.

They don't even greet each other when Josh swings the door open; Tyler just pushes his way inside, closing the door behind him and wraps an arm around Josh’s neck to pull him close.

Their lips meet in a frenzy, Tyler’s tongue pushing against Josh’s lips and into his mouth while Josh grinds his hips against his for some relief. Tyler swirls his tongue around, meeting Josh's, his cheeks, the back of his teeth and back to his tongue again before pulling away with an obscene sound.

Josh tugs Tyler’s jacket off, not caring that it falls to the ground and pries off his shirt along with it.

“Eager, aren't ya?” Tyler smirks as Josh’s hands travel the length of his torso.

“I asked you to fuck me, what are you waiting for?” Josh growls instead and that snaps Tyler into action, his fingers working like magic to unbutton his jeans and tug them and his boxers off in one swift motion.

Josh does the same while Tyler leans forward and catches his lips with his own again, chapped, slightly cracked lips meeting in a bruising kiss.

It’s not until Tyler’s hand wraps around Josh’s cock that he whimpers and lets himself be dragged toward the bed, his submissive side taking over completely as he bucks his hips into Tyler’s hand no matter how dry.

“Please, please, come on,” Josh begs and gestures to his desk. “Lube. First drawer.”

Tyler chuckles and moves away to get the lube this time, Josh’s body practically singing praises while Tyler coats his finger generously.

It’s quick and mostly painless when Tyler starts stretching him, Josh’s breaths hitching and whines for more getting caught in his throat desperately as he throws his head to the side and exposes his already bruised neck to Tyler.

Tyler bites and licks and sucks new marks and goes back to the old ones, taking it all as an invitation and biting at his jaw too. Josh is too spaced out to even tell him not to leave any more marks on him, the feeling of his fingers repeatedly hitting his prostate getting to him.

“Tyler, you have to stop, m’gonna come,” Josh breathes and jerks his hips when Tyler continues. “F-fuck, god, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me-”

A hand wraps around his throat, cutting him off completely as he chokes slightly on his own spit.

“You need to learn when to shut the fuck up,” Tyler leans down and kisses the corner of his mouth. “You wanted me to choke you, yes? Yes.”

He removes his fingers from Josh’s ass and he sighs in relief while Tyler slicks himself up and tightens his hold on his neck. Josh’s hand flies up to Tyler’s, prepared to pry his fingers off of him if he has to, but then he’s slipping into him and his entire fucking mind gets transferred to a subuniverse of pure pleasure.

Closing his eyes and letting out a loud moan when Tyler bottoms out, he lets himself be manhandled, Tyler pushing his knees to his chest and holy _fuck_ , this angle. Josh’s eyes fly open and he tries begging him to go faster, harder, something, but Tyler just growls and squeezes his neck in warning.

It doesn't take much for him to feel himself lose it, in fact as soon as Tyler whispers _you’re my own personal whore, aren't you_ raggedly with a voice so low and deep, he practically comes right away with a cry of Tyler’s name, spurts of it falling onto his stomach and chest and slightly onto Tyler’s.

Tyler follows suit after a couple more thrusts, Josh’s soft moans while he thrust into him while he’s overstimulated making his hand loosen around his throat and bite down on his shoulder hard as he fills him up.

“That was intense.” Josh says, out of breath and dazed as Tyler pulls out of him, his come trickling down Josh’s leg as he does so.

All he gets in response is a hum of agreement, the boy above him already moving away from him and toward his abandoned jeans on the floor. Though their super tight, Josh sees Tyler pull out a pack of cigarettes from one pocket and a lighter from the other.

It’s not like Josh didn't know how to tell when he’s got feelings for someone, because literally, he knows. They always eat at him and nag away at his brain the second he realizes it. As he watches Tyler light the cig and bring it to his mouth, his body covered in sweat and come and looking like a fucking masterpiece, Josh’s mouth goes dry and he can't even deny it.

He’s so fucking screwed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the worst at updating regularly and for that I am sorry.
> 
> Holy shit do I love this fic, though.

As much as Josh loves his life being filled with surprises, sleeping through his alarm and getting to class late is not one of the ones he appreciates.

Neither is his prof handing him his midterm back with a quick _you’ll get it next time, bud_. He’s never failed anything in his life. How did he manage to fuck up this badly?

Add his bemusement to the equation and you've got him getting to work late, earning himself the look of disapproval from his manager and well.

His life currently sucked. Majorly.

And really, no one was coming into work to get teas so obviously his manager cuts _his_ shift, of course she does. It’s not like all he was doing was mindlessly playing with the buttons on the cash register or anything. It’s not like he needs the money. No way.

To top this all off there's also Tyler and he still doesn't know what the hell is going on between them, but he’s acting super strange. Like, more possessive than usual strange. Josh wouldn't mind it if he weren't so fucking confused.

Literally Tyler clings to him, burying his face into his neck any chance he gets, never mind them being in class or something. Hands on thighs, fingers curling tightly in his shirts and even biting his neck when he least expects it, shocking gasps out of him wasn’t out of the ordinary anymore with the amount of times he’s done it. When Josh asks him what’s up all Tyler does is smirk and shrug and completely avoid answering his question, so naturally, Josh stops asking and lets him be his unusual self.

_I found a cat_

Now _this_ , this is a surprise Josh can get behind.

_Do you want this thing_

_It’s making weird noises_

oh my god what

WHAT

YES

you mean… purring?

Out of everything Tyler could come at him with, offering him a cat is not something he ever expected nor could have imagined. In fact, Josh is suddenly feeling nostalgic of his old cat who he lost a few years ago.

_Yes that_

_Does our college even allow this thing?_

_The miniature tiger, I mean_.

Josh full on laughs as he walks, earning himself some odd looks, but holy shit, Tyler just called a cat a miniature tiger. His entire day has been flipped and made; it can't get any better than this.

no it does not allow miniature tigers

but they'll never know

just keep it until I can come get it

don't do anything stupid

_I will not._

_When’s your birthday_

_Here's your birthday gift from me_

_Even though I found it next to the trash_

it's in June

you're a little early but I'll take it

leave my cat alone

_Ah so now it's your cat_

_You haven't even seen it_

I don't need to see it to know it's precious as hell

Tyler wants to kill him apparently because he sends him a picture of the cat, a cute ball of grey fur curled into his chest, it’s eyes closed and it’s tiny paws clinging to his black sweater. Josh is sure he can die happy right now. Should God strike him dead, everything he’s done in his life would have been worth it.

_He’s stupid._

oh my god

you're stupid

LOOK AT IT

he's so cute I'm dying. I'm dead. it was nice knowing you

_I HATE cats_

_They're NOT worthy_

they’re independant lil things

what did cats ever do to you

there has to be a story there

_You can't understand my hatred, you're clean_

_White_

_You’re a stupid angel_

_And usually cats hiss at me_

_Dogs bark at me. Everything wants to run from me._

_But dogs are still better than miniature tigers_

Josh is so used to cryptic Tyler by now that whenever he says shit like this, he just rolls with it. He remembers how Tyler once told him people misunderstand him most of the time and he almost shakes his head in sympathy.

what a backhanded compliment thank you

this cat seems pretty calm around you

besides I don't run from you

_Are you calling yourself an animal?_

_Cause you are_

_In bed._

no dumbass just in general

oh my god

_You’re a stupid cat as well_

_A miniature tiger_

yeah, but you actually like me

_;)_

don't ever send me a winky face again

is my cat doing okay

_It's not your cat._

_Ok it is, but I don't want to see him when I fuck you_

_He’s destroying my damn sweater_

we can lock him in the bathroom when we fuck how's that?

he can sense you insulting him

cat telepathy

_Joshua…_

_Why do I even bother_

_You’re equally as stupid_

_HE'S RUINING EVERYTHING WITH HIS STUPID TINY CLAWS_

Josh regrets telling Tyler to call him Joshua. He uses it to his advantage and Josh was so not okay with that, not at all.

you can't just call me joshua like that

it goes straight to my dick, asshole

GOOD I HOPE HE CLAWS YOUR FACE FOR ME

_Does it, Joshua?_

_Why are you hating on me_

_You should hate this stupid chaotic cat_

_He’s a fucking disgrace_

_Destroyer of my balls_

shut up tyler

you're going to end up loving this cat

_I will not_

_You're my personal pain in the ass-cat_

_Not him_

yeah well you're also a pain in my ass.....literally.

;)

_How can you make me horny with such a stupid joke._

_You’re different from her._

hmm. who's "her"?

_Your mother._

_You’re way smarter and prettier._

Josh skips a beat in his step and almost falls flat on his face. Why was Tyler bringing this up again? How could he possibly even _know_ anything about her? Josh’s hands start to shake as he continues his trek towards Tyler’s dorm, though right now seeing him is the last thing on his mind.

shut the fuck up

It's not his most elegant way of ending a conversation, but he’s on the verge of a panic attack and it'll have to do for now. It feels as though his heart is going to ram its way out of his chest and he almost feels like gasping for air to get it circulating back to his lungs.

_You really are_

don't... why'd you bring this up now? I was actually enjoying talking to you for once.

_I like how you don't ask questions_

_You know something is wrong, but you're ignoring it._

_Why?_

He’s baiting him, Josh knows it, but he still snaps and falls for it.

because I don't want to know how you can possibly know her. I don't need a trip down memory lane.

I know what happened, I was the only one who was in the room when

Josh catches himself too late, half of that message already being sent thanks to his shaking fingers. Leave it to his anxiety to fuck him over and over again.

it’s none of your business.

_You're so smart yet so stupid._

_Come._

I don't want your pity.

_Oh I assure you, I have no pity at all._

_I just want to lick your cheek and fuck the sadness out of you_

I’m not sad

you make me laugh

_Why?_

fuck social norms, you're gonna fuck me BEFORE even taking me out on a date!

_I've fucked you more than I can count_

_But I'll take you out on a date_

You will?

_Yeah. Come here._

And he may be pathetic, but he does just that in the hopes of forgetting the entire conversation they just had.

 

* * *

 

Josh is dyeing his hair blue.

Which is fine in context because, like, blue is his favourite colour and he’s positive he’ll look really, _really_ good with it. That’s not his beef.

His problem was that he was doing this partly to impress Tyler. After their whole misunderstanding with his mother being mentioned again, things just went back to being like they were as if it’s that easy.

Which apparently it is since the two of them seem to have no problems tip-toeing around the entire subject like it never happened.

So back to his point; why is he trying to impress Tyler? He doesn't know.

Okay, he’s a liar, he does know, but he’s trying so hard to ignore his stupid feelings, he really is. It’s just a little hard when he and Tyler see each other so often now, it’s practically impossible for him to even _pretend_.

He’s caught himself staring at Tyler one too many times to even be considered subtle. Tyler is way too perceptive not to have noticed it and yet he still hasn't called Josh out, so he considers that a win in itself.

Maybe he’s sneakier than he thinks.

Well, he managed to sneak into Debby’s sorority; if that doesn't make him a ninja, he doesn't know what does. These sorority girls have eyes everywhere and if he’s being honest with himself, half of them scare him. Truthfully, he doesn't even know why Debby is apart of this, he briefly remembers her telling him it was an experience, but he’s a terrible friend and zoned out through the explanation of all the shit she had to do to get in.

Now he’s stuck with no answers and the boredom that strikes when one dyes their hair.

“Blue will look so good,” Debby assures him when she sees the look of distaste on his face, probably mistaking it as him being nervous about the turnout.

“I know.” He answers before he can stop himself. His ego flares and he doesn't even care as he leans back in his chair.

What he should have done was dye his hair something completely uncalled for, like yellow. Neon yellow. Who the hell likes yellow? Let alone neon yellow _hair?_ No one.

It would have totally shown where Tyler’s priorities are, but Josh lost his chance at that because he was too busy thinking about impressing him.

Debby sits down cross-legged on the floor, shaking her black nail polish. Josh had been too busy lost in his thoughts to notice her getting the bottle.

“Want me to paint your nails?”

Josh shrugs, pulling out his phone with a reply of _yeah, sure_ on the tip of his tongue until he notices Tyler messaging him. He wouldn't really be able to text him back with wet nails now would he?

“Maybe some other time,” Josh offers and she nods, turning the music on her phone on as she opens the bottle and does her thing.

_I’m creeping your insta and trying not to jerk off._

_Just to let you know_.

Of course that’s what he would have to tell him. Josh leans his elbow on the desk and bites his lip, contemplating what exactly he should answer to that. He shouldn't even encourage Tyler to send him messages like this when he was with his friend, but like, it’s _Tyler_.

And Tyler is thinking of him.

There’s a definite plus side to this, he’s sure of it. There’s no way he was the only one catching feelings here, that would just be unnatural. He’s been forced to watch too many rom-coms to not see how this ends.

wow that mental image is exactly what I need right now

Tyler’s reply is instant and Josh wonders if he’s just sitting there waiting for him to reply. The thought puts a smile on his face.

_Why_

_What are you doing_

ah

wouldn’t you like to know

_Tell me_

_Tell me, pretty eyes._

Josh’s face flushes, his skin going hot and he can practically feel it spreading down his chest and to his damn heart, the beat of it increasing like he’s ran a marathon.

He needs to get a grip of himself.

“pretty eyes”? that's new

I'm with my friend

dyeing my hair

_What colour_

_And who’s the friend_

_Are you having a girls night?_

_Painting your nails and shit?_

_Talkin’ about pretty boys like myself?_

“Are you talking with Tyler?” Debby’s voice makes him jump and almost clutch at his already fast-beating heart.

“Yeah,” Josh drops his hands to his thighs, the phone clattering onto the desk.

He hadn't really meant to spill the details of his relationship with Tyler to his friends. He was set on, you know, keeping things private between him and his boytoy, or whatever. But Josh is a weak man who crumbles at the first question of _hey have you gotten laid recently_ and by some miracle, yeah, yeah he _has_ and he's confused.

Confused and in major need of advice from his friends, so he spilled the tea and gave them the gossip of his life.

“That’s cute,” Debby flicks the polish expertly along her pinky and closes the bottle before looking up at him. “About what?”

“Just… stuff.” Josh grabs his phone and ignores the roll of her eyes.

blue

you're modest, aren't you?

my good friend debby would absolutely LOVE you

_I know you talk about me with others_

_I hate her_

_She looks weird._

_I saw her in the arts building the other day_.

Josh suppresses a snort, shaking his head lightly. “He’s so dumb.”

It comes out way more affectionate than he intended and that's his first mistake.

“You _like_ him,” Debby grins when he looks at her with a blank face, shaking off her nails. “You like-like him.”

“Obviously.” He deadpans, going for calm and composed.

shut up I don't talk about you to others

so you dislike her for no reason

that’s cute

_You should kill her_

_YES YOU DO_

_Swear on Dog that you never talk about me to anyone_

Josh rolls his eyes at the ridiculous name Tyler gave his cat. When Josh told him he can name him since he found him he honestly thought he was being fair and reasonable about it. He didn't think Tyler would be cruel and butcher his poor cat's name like this.

Also, it turns out Josh isn't the only one smuggling a cat into his dorm. There's a pact that everyone who has a cat living in their rooms share their cat food which is pretty fucking neat if Josh says so himself. Obviously they all gave their share of money to pitch in on buying said cat food, but it’s all good as long as his cat is well sustained and shit.

you're so dramatic

but fine I can't swear on Dog

I love him too much

but literally all I've told people is your name and that we're friends so ha

_Come on you must have been talking about my cock with someone_

_I don't believe you_

_Confess your sins to me_

no sins to confess

I don't kiss and tell

_Bitch you’re lame._

_I want people to look at us._

ok FINE shut up I do talk about you

they already do, the marks you leave on me aren't exactly hidden after we fuck

Josh can practically feel the bite marks on his collarbones as soon as he hits send. Their sex life is really something else at this point.

If he were a naive boy he’d consider this the honeymoon stage of their relationship with everything being so new and fresh, but he isn't and he knows better.

_HA_

_YOU TRICKY WHORE_

_You DO talk about us._

_And what do you say_

_?_

“You’re literally just sitting there smiling at your phone like a loser.” Debby sighs, getting up and walking to her bed. Josh can't even break his gaze from his phone as he answers.

“He’s just _so_ dumb, it’s endearing.”

I tell them how good of a lay you are

you just want me to boost your ego

everyone wants the friends with benefits gossip you know

_No, I want to know what you tell others because THAT makes me hard._

_So I'm a good lay huh_

_You're so damn cute._

Josh shifts uncomfortably in his chair, cursing himself for being the way he is. What did he do to deserve this? He’s at the last place he would want to get aroused at, so he needs to just _not_.

you need to not say that when I'm trying to dye my hair in peace thank you

and no I take it back you're terrible

the worst

I have to psych myself up every time we fuck so I don't get too disappointed

_Say what, that you make me hard or that you're cute?_

_HA-HA you liar_

_L I A R_

_you'd choke on my dick for the rest of your life if you could_

_You'd DIE with my dick in your ass if you could_

“I hate boys.” Josh snaps, crossing his legs.

“No you don't,” Debby calls from where she’s buried in her bed.

“No, I don't.” He grumbles begrudgingly.

 stop it

you're getting me hot and bothered during girls night

not cool tyler

not cool

_Can I come_

_Can I embarrass you in front of your dear friend?_

no I fear you may kill her out of pure boredom

_I would not what do you think I am, a MONSTER?_

_Ha HA HAAHAH_

_Shut up_

_I’d be cute_

yeah laugh it up

you'll either try to kill each other or try and make me jealous and both those scenarios suck for me so no

_Jealous?_

_With HER?_

_ME?_

_Yeah, you're probably right_

HA I KNEW IT

Josh’s timer goes off to wash the dye out of his hair and he practically dashes into Debby’s bathroom to get the shit out of his hair and practically douse himself in cold water. He knows, logically, he can't stay in the shower long or Debby would get suspicious, so once his dick flags he’s out of there and pulling his clothes back on, blue droplets falling onto his shirt.

He grabs a towel and dries his hair, staining it blue without a care in the world. Josh doesn't know where Debby's roommate slash sorority sister is, but he’s glad she's not here to yell at him about it.

Glancing in the mirror quickly, his breath catches and he smiles at how _nice_ it looks. He’s not really one to butter his own biscuit, but _damn_ , blue is his colour.

Once he leaves the bathroom and grabs his phone, his focus is back on the other boy.

_You're so precious when you get all worked up tho_

_Are you leaving me here now? I'm coming there._

_I’m gonna ruin your party._

_I’ll put salt in your mojitos._

I was just washing the dye out of my hair

oh my gosh you're truly an evil one aren't you?

_Your sarcasm is just making me hard_

_I just want to fuck you like an animal now_

_And I'm going to take you in an hour or so. Doesn't matter if she's in the room with us._

_I'm gonna fuck you and you won’t complain_

Josh scoffs, catching the girl in the bed’s attention.

you're not fucking me with an audience

you're such a needy fuck

_I. don't. care._

_59 minutes_

“Josh, your hair looks so good!” Debby reaches for his wet curls once she’s next to him and Josh recoils, ignoring the hurt look on her face. He almost feels bad.

“Yeah, blue is my colour.” He jokes weakly, sharing his own thoughts from earlier.

oh so you've got a countdown going

_I'm just trying to help my fuckbuddy._

yeah yeah I'm sure you are

just meet me in my room then

“Dude, just go to your Tyler or whatever.” Debby pushes his shoulder lightly to get his attention. He purposely ignores how she called Tyler his.

“Are you sure?” Josh asks reluctantly and she nods. “Sorry.”

“Nah, you're smitten. It’s cool.” She waves him off and Josh doesn't waste time leaving, closing the door behind him and speed walking back to his room.

The fact he leaves the sorority without a fuss is a miracle in itself. Part of him thinks that half of them tolerate him because they know he’s gay. He wouldn't be surprised; Debby has a big mouth and she spills his secrets the first chance she gets.

_You're mine Joshua_

I know

_No, you don't._

yes I fucking do, you've said it enough times. I'm yours, you're not mine.

Josh didn't mean to snap like that, but he’s been on edge all night and this topic always gets him feeling unlike himself. It burns through him and lights his veins on fire with anger and he hates it. He doesn't like the fact he can't have Tyler the way he wants to and he hates that he feels bad about feeling the way he does.

He shouldn't even feel _bad_.

_You don't feel it yet. You will soon._

_I’m yours as well._

He almost drops his phone in surprise.

feel what?

oh, are you?

_Not in the same way._

_But yes, I am._

“Of course.” Josh mutters bitterly, glaring ahead of himself before tapping away.

 _Chill, keyboard warrior_ , he tells himself, trying to calm down.

whatever

what don't I feel yet?

I don't care about your cryptic bullshit right now just tell me

_You don't feel the urge to escape yet._

_When you'll feel it, you'll know that you're mine._

_It’s a long process_

_You know, I have a new bad habit._

you're so confusing, you realize that right?

oh please share this bad habit of yours

_Taking pics of you without permission_

Tyler sends him a bunch of candids he’s taken of him, in some of them he’s looking over at him, in others he’s laughing and even eating.

He knows he's doing this to distract him and it works because how hasn't he noticed him taking pictures?

_You hardly notice_

huh... well. I can't help it if you're obsessed with me

Then, right at that moment, Josh’s life flashes before his eyes because he sends him a picture of them fucking and how _hasn't_ he noticed this?

_See?_

_You like it. You're smiling aren't you_

fuck

well alright the fact I don't notice you taking pictures while we're fucking is a testament to how good you are isn't it

_Yeah. I jerk off at some of those videos daily.._

_Did I say videos? I meant pics*_

_Silly me_

motherfucker you are UNBELIEVABLE

_Hurry up._

you gonna tell me how pretty my new hair colour is?

_I'll make you scream tonight. I'll fill you up with every drop of cum I have_

_Then, I'll tell you how pretty your new hair colour is._

Josh practically runs to his room, jumping steps two at a time and opens the door with shaking hands, his heart practically in his throat when he sees Tyler. He’d given him his extra key one day when his body and mind were filled with adrenaline and Tyler had graciously accepted it without a word.

Tyler’s standing by his bed with his arms crossed and a smirk plastered on his lips as Josh closes the door behind him, breaths coming out ragged.

Once Josh turns around again, he realizes that Tyler’s stepped closer to him, the smile on his face widening when he knows he’s got Josh hooked.

How could he not? Tyler was like a drug and Josh was basically an addict at this point.

“Want you so bad.” Tyler says in a low voice that makes Josh’s skin crawl, goosebumps rising on his skin as he reaches for him.

Josh closes the distance.

 

* * *

 

“Do you want to go out with me?” Josh asks randomly one day, having finally worked up the nerve after weeks of walking on eggshells about the subject.

“No.” Tyler answers simply and Josh stops walking.

It’s dark out and they aren't the only ones walking aimlessly around campus, but Josh just loses all his sense of decency and anchors himself to the ground, not caring if there was anyone behind them.

Tyler continues walking a few steps until he notices Josh isn't next to him and glances behind him, turning slowly, his face unchanging with Josh’s glare on him.

“What?” Tyler asks innocently, tilting his head.

“What do you mean, _what?_ ” Josh replies, venom dripping off his words. “I don't understand you.”

Tyler just hums, crossing his arms indifferently.

“What do you _want_ from me? Out of all this?” Josh demands, stepping closer to him and ignoring the logical part of his brain telling him to back off.

“You’re so stupid,” Tyler chuckles, moving his hand up to halt Josh’s approach. “I told you you would fall for me.”

Josh stops and breathes for a second, takes the time to think. “Well, what exactly did you expect?”

“You want to be mine officially, how _cute_ ,” Tyler coos, moving forward until they're chest to chest and Josh is looking up at him. “And here I thought you were somewhat rational.”

Josh goes to say that he is, he’s thought about all the pros and all the cons of this situation so many times that it can be considered an unhealthy obsession, but his eyes catch on Tyler’s neck. Or rather, the stuff on his neck; it looks like something almost black trickling down from his ear to his neck and stopping at his shirt, soaking into it.

How does Tyler not feel it? Was he hurt?

“Tyler, you’re bleeding.” Josh’s panic sounds in his voice as he lifts his hand to assess the wound, maybe shine his phone’s light against it to get a better look.

Tyler’s hand wraps around his wrist tightly, the grip almost painful as Josh grunts in shock and breaks his gaze from the blood against Tyler’s neck. He’s sure it’s blood, but how could it have gotten there? Tyler was with him all afternoon and he was fine.

They lock eyes, students walking around them as a snarl curls against Tyler’s lips and makes Josh want to recoil away from him. He hesitates, not wanting to back down from this because Tyler needs help, but with the expression on his face it looks like he wants none of that, especially from him. It's as though Tyler’s gaze stabbed him in his chest instead of his back and Josh doesn't know what to think other than he needs to help him; he _has_ to.

“Tyler, you’re _bleeding_ ,” Josh repeats more urgently, trying to yank his wrist free. “We need to go ge—”

“Stop speaking.” Tyler growls and Josh’s mouth snaps shut. He drops Josh’s hand and it falls limp by his side, the urge to reach up and make sure he’s okay vanishing completely.

The pain in his chest flares, catching fire inside of him and he worries at his lip to stop himself from saying something stupid. Knowing him, it wouldn't fly past him to do that. He knows he falls too hard, too fast, but saying he loves the guy by accident in a moment like this would not go over well.

Tyler presses his hand against his neck and when he pulls it away and examines his fingers, he _laughs_.

He laughs and Josh doesn't get it, he doesn't think he’ll ever get someone as complex as Tyler and he takes a cautious step back, hoping Tyler wouldn't notice. He doesn't want to say that Tyler’s crazy exactly, but he’s _bleeding_ and he’s _laughing_ about it.

This is literally how super villain origin stories start.

“You don't know me, Joshua Dun,” Tyler says, turning away from him and beginning to walk away. “You should keep it that way.”

 

* * *

 

He’s on his way to visit his mom when he starts feeling himself become more and more aware of all his surroundings. Sure, maybe it’s the fact he’s on a crowded bus where everyone’s wearing a hood and avoiding glancing in his direction that might be throwing him off.

There’s something unsettling about not being able to see anyone’s faces and even when he thinks he does catch a glimpse of someone, their faces show more as blurs than actual features.

Maybe Josh is going crazy. Maybe _he’s_ finally losing it and there was nothing to help him come back over the edge now. He’s jumped onto the other side, completely abandoned the mentally sane ship now, he might as well embrace it.

He decides to ignore everything and glance down into his lap, his phone shaking in his hands as his music blares in his ears. It’s playing and he knows it, but all he can hear is the rapid beat of his heart as he struggles to focus.

The bus is silent besides the sounds coming from his earphones and as soon as he looks out the window and knows his stop is coming up, he jumps at the chance to get off. He accidentally bumps into others as he pushes his way to the door, the claustrophobia of being surrounded making it harder and harder for him to breathe, small gasps passing his lips unwillingly until he bangs against the door and falls out.

Everyone’s faces were a blur. All of them.

Closing his eyes, he listens to the engine of the bus move further away from him and breathes in and out in the pattern his old therapist used to tell him.

 _Take a deep breath, you're fine, you’re okay, nothing’s gonna happen_ , Josh tells himself over and over until he finds himself believing it.

Once his breathing evens out he starts making his way to his mother's house. His mom didn't live anywhere near the city, she lived on the outskirts, far away from all the chaos that ensues.

She had told him that she prefers being all the way out here because she felt safer living in a neighbourhood that practically supported isolation and as much as Josh hated it back then, he can understand where she was coming from now. Being surrounded by trees and nature sounds calming enough.

He wonders what she would say about his tattoos and piercings; he hasn't seen her in such a long time that the idea of her not approving of them sits heavily on his chest.

The last thing he’d ever want to do is disappoint her.

When he sees the house, he practically runs to it, using the key she’d given him to throw open the door and get inside.

Josh tosses his bag on the ground by the stairs. “Hey mom, I’m home!”

Silence.

Josh shrugs it off, walking up the steps to her room, assuming she’s asleep. He checks the time on his phone and frowns; it's way too early for her to be asleep. He walks into her room and it’s empty. It’s empty and he’s already rushing out of her room and down to the basement, the creaking of the steps louder than he remembers.

She probably had a long day at work and dozed off on the couch, that's probably it.

The panic rises and alarm bells start blaring in his head, mocking him when he doesn't find her there.

“Mom?” Josh calls loudly. “Mom, where are you?”

He races into the empty kitchen, the distant sounds of crows being heard from outside making his stomach churn as he tosses a chair aside in his panic. Where could she be? She knows he’s coming down to see her, she wouldn't leave without shooting him a text.

Besides her car was in the driveway.

“Think, think, think.” Josh chants to himself, tugging at his hair worriedly.

He’s about to give up and put his head in his hands in pure despair until he sees movement in the corner of his eye. He’s upright in seconds, the shadows coming straight from outside, near the woods.

The backdoor is open without a second thought and Josh is an absolute idiot because he didn't even think to grab a weapon and defend himself with as he runs toward the two figures, his phone's light bright as it shines in front of him.

The closer he gets, the more he can hear the sounds of someone struggling and crying, sobs catching in their throat and when he reaches them, time seems to stop completely.

He notices three things all at once.

The first thing he sees is all the blood surrounding them. The second is his mom’s slumped figure, blood coating her skin and the grass around her with her mouth wrapped up in a makeshift gag. Her hands are behind her and he puts two and two together to realize they're probably tied together too. The third is that the figure looming over her is Tyler.

Only it’s not Tyler.

It’s someone who looks like him, because when he turns and stares at him, his eyes are pitch black and the black liquid that Josh had seen on _his_ Tyler was on this one too, only this wasn't blood. He didn't know what it was, but it wasn't blood.

He’d know if it was because his hands are stained red, a knife being twirled between his fingers as this Tyler grins, sharp and lethal, just like the blade.

At a closer glance, he notices it’s the same dagger his Tyler used on him the first time they met. It’s the same dagger he used to pin those roses to his door and it’s the same dagger, it’s the _same_.

Josh’s hands shake so much he drops his phone to the ground, falling on the front side of it and covering the light that was illuminating the scene for him.

“So glad you could join us, Josh.” And that’s Tyler’s voice, the sound too unique and imprinted into Josh's brain to ever forget it.

“What are you doing?” Josh asks once his eyes adjust to the darkness, his own voice coming out small. “What are you _doing?_ ”

The second time comes out more forceful, though Josh can hear how terrified he is. Tyler waves a hand around them, as if that’s explanation enough.

“Oh, ya know, just having some fun,” Tyler chuckles, walking around to the back of his mother. He leans down close to her and Josh can see the hint of a smile. “This is fun, right?”

“Leave her alone,” Josh walks closer, but stops when Tyler lifts his dagger to her neck. “Tyler—”

“I assumed you would have figured it out by now, Josh. It’s not like I was hiding anything from you.” Tyler cuts him off, pitch black eyes meeting his as his hand curls in his mom’s hair and pulls backward, exposing her neck more.

The pained, scared sound that rips it’s way out of his mom’s throat forces him into action, walking forward carefully with his hands out in front of him defensively.

“Figure what out?” Josh asks, maybe if he kept him talking long enough he’d be able to jump him when he least expects it.

It always works in the movies.

Tyler was not having any of that.

“You’re adorable, Josh, you really are,” Tyler laughs, hands tightening as he slides the dagger across his mother’s neck teasingly. “You want to be a hero so bad, but you know that’s not how this is going to end.”

“Stop, please stop, I’ll do anything.” Josh pleads desperately, not knowing what else to do.

“Anything, huh?” Tyler considers and Josh thinks he’s got a chance before he’s smirking wickedly over at him. “Say your goodbyes.”

“No!” Josh cries, lunging forward too late, always too late because the knife is cutting his mom's neck open and Tyler's dropping her carelessly onto the ground while he’s on his knees begging her to stay with him, _stay with me, please stay, staystaystay_. Tyler’s laughter fills his ears as he shakes and holds his mother’s lifeless body.

There’s so much blood he can't help how he feels he’s experienced this before, somehow, someway. Maybe in another lifetime this exact same thing has happened to him and he doesn't know it.

Rocking back on his ankles with tears staining themselves on his cheeks, just like the blood staining his skin and clothes, he hardly has time to hear and fully react to Tyler talking again.

“Your turn.”

He shoots up in his bed, body covered in sweat and his heart in his throat, his hand reaching for his bare chest quickly just to make sure. He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive. The rapid thrum beneath his fingers is enough proof of that.

 _It was just a dream, take deep breaths, you’re okay, everything’s okay_ , he tells himself, running his other hand through his hair and letting it drop back down.

He feels dirty, like he's the one who committed the crime and he's to blame for it. When he looks down at his shaking hands, he can see them soaking in _red_ and he wants to wash and scrub the memory of it, of the mess of blood off of himself. If he had tried harder she'd still be alive, dream or not. He let her go a second time and it was his fault again for being too late.

The bedsheets twist between his fingers as he tightens his hold on them angrily. He’s crying over a dream that wasn’t even real.

That’s all it was; a stupid dream.

Until a familiar voice speaks up from the corner of the room and shocks the soul right out of Josh’s body.

“Don’t run.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao y'all thought!!!
> 
> leave comments n all that jazz
> 
> follow us on twitter:  
> @babsisnotsocial  
> @boyaishere (this is his insta too, go follow him if you don't already!!)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok hi listen as much as I love the comments about how Boya is an amazing writer and I laugh rly hard as I show him them, he gets annoyed that people think HE'S the writer so, PSA: It is I, babz, who writes this story. B helps with ideas and Tyler's messages.
> 
> Carry on, then. Enjoy. You've all waited long enough.

Josh is terrified.

He’s literally on that specific level of fear where he’s positive he’s going to pee his pants if he so much as moves an inch. He’s paralyzed with how fucking terrified he is right now is what he’s getting at.

What is he supposed to do? They never taught him what to do if someone breaks into his room in school. It doesn't help that he’s too scared to even look over at where the voice came from and confirm his fears, either.

This _can’t_ be real.

This was definitely a dream within a dream.

Inception type of shit.

Then Tyler chuckles (probably at the way Josh is reacting) and Josh’s head snaps up in the direction it came from, his fingers clenching tighter around the sheets at the sight of his silhouette. His adrenaline spikes and he prays he doesn't have a panic attack right now, so help him God, he’ll actually die if he does and he doesn't think he’s ready for death just yet.

In Josh’s head, this seems like and _is_ a life or death situation.

“What the fuck, what the actual fuck,” Josh whispers to himself, a little hysterically. “What the _fuck_.”

Josh doesn't usually curse this much without purpose, but holy shit, what is going on? He knows he gave Tyler a key, but there's no way he would come and just stand there, watching him from the corner of the room. He wouldn't come without texting him first, either. Besides, how would he know Josh would be apprehensive to seeing him? He wouldn't, because there’s no way he could know!

A gasp leaves his lips as he lets go of the sheets he’s clinging to for comfort and moves his hand to clutch at his chest, his heart continuing to beat way too fast for his liking.

 _Calm down_ , Josh breathes out and takes a deep breath, eyes never leaving Tyler and flinching when he sees him moving towards him.

One thing Josh is proud of in that moment is his quick way of thinking, because as soon as he can recognize and make out the features on Tyler’s face, he springs out of the bed (without pissing himself, hallelujah) and completely forgets about his momentary paralysis. He tosses the sheets at Tyler in an attempt to stop his advances and shakily backs away, his hands in front of him defensively.

“What _are_ you?” Josh blurts out dumbly, his eyes wide and scared as Tyler bends to pick up the sheets slowly, his body facing away from him.

There’s the fucking black shit on Tyler’s cheek and neck and Josh is losing his freaking mind, he’s _losing it_ , but when Tyler looks at him with that stupid smirk on his face, Josh feels his blood chill in his veins.

It’s the same one that dream-Tyler gave him and the horror must show on his face, because Tyler tilts his head innocently, like he’s the saint in this equation somehow. It doesn't work in his favour, Josh won't fall prey to his tricks right now; not when all he sees is this boy killing his mother without a single ounce of remorse playing over and over in his head.

“What is that? What is that stuff?” Josh asks, pointing to his neck in an attempt to make his question clear. “What is it, you--”

“I don't know what you’re talking about.” Tyler cuts him off smoothly, his voice coming out so sickly sweet, honey could practically be dripping off his quirked lips.

Josh can feel the tremors in his own hands as he laces them together to stop them, puffing up his chest to make himself look tougher than he is.

“You’re a god damn _liar_ ,” Josh snaps, surprising himself with how steady his voice comes out.

“Oh? Am I?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Josh chokes out, less confident than before and the high pitch of it surely adds to how fucking scared shitless he actually feels.

In his defence all he can think is _don't kill me don't kill me don't kill me_ so, he should cut himself some slack.

Tyler twists the sheets in his hands, a graceful delicacy to it with the way his fingers move so quickly while humming softly to himself and Josh swears he sees it take the shape of a noose before Tyler is looking over at him again, eyes dark as the room around them. Josh makes a soft sound of distress despite himself, backing further away until his back hits the wall, but it only makes Tyler’s smile widen.

When Tyler doesn't reply to a single one of his questions, advancing toward him without any warning, Josh thinks a quick _oh, fuck that_ and runs.

He fucking runs.

The one thing he was told not to do and he does it.

He whips the door open with his shaking, sweaty hands and runs out into the dimly lit hallway. At least if he screams bloody murder out here there's a better chance of someone coming to help him.

Probably.

Hopefully.

Looking over his shoulder, he doesn't see Tyler following him and it throws him off. There’s no way he imagined all this, he’s definitely not that creative. Besides, what kind of person would want to picture all of that?

Oh my god, was he a schizo?

“ _Fuck_.” Josh wheezes as he slows his run to a walk, running his hands over his face, the adrenaline rush draining out of him and slamming him with the fact that it’s cold out.

Who would have thought it would be cold near the end of February?

He’s not sure what possessed him to sleep in sweatpants tonight, but he thanks past-Josh because he saved himself from _some_ sort of embarrassment.

It’s almost comical, he’s running around campus shirtless and without shoes, away from someone he _thinks_ he saw.

See, it’s not like no other college kid hasn't had this walk of shame. Everyone’s been there, or _will_ be there, the whole forgetting clothes/shoes and having to walk back to their dorm half naked and bare footed. It’s not a big deal.

The worst thing that'll happen is he’ll catch hypothermia from being out in the Ohio cold too long. Still, that alternative seems better than having stayed in the same room as Tyler.

The con of getting away is that Josh has no idea where the hell he’s going and he doesn't have his fucking phone with him to text anyone. You know, so he can crash at their place last minute with some bullshit lie he could come up with. Josh is a firm believer that one of the worst things a person can do is show up at someone’s place unannounced and now he was going to have to be a hypocrite, shoving his morals down his fucking throat to do just that.

He’s pretty sure he’s going to yell, and scream until his throat is raw and sore, because fuck, his life is a huge mess.

But he’ll be damned before he admits he imagined Tyler. He was there, he’s sure of it.

Maybe.

 _No_ , he did see him, he’s not crazy. He can't doubt himself on this, his entire psyche goes against that mentality. Yes, he’s fucked up beyond belief, like, from his childhood up to now the statistics on his fucked up-ness go through the roof, but he’s _not_ crazy.

He bites his lip, trying to stop himself from outright yelling in frustration. All he wanted was for Tyler to be his boyfriend and now their entire relationship was the definition of a hot mess.

 _Only if you let it be_ , the hopeful part of him whispers at the back of his mind, but he shakes it off. There’s no way he can act like everything is fine. He can’t.

Taking in his surroundings, he realizes he’s near Colin’s dorm. Colin is one of the friends he kept from high school and he would die for him without a second thought. Even though they don't hang out as much as they used to, Josh still considers him one of his best friends and he’s sure the feeling is mutual. Well, Josh hopes it is, otherwise the fact he always goes to Colin with all his problems would be really awkward.

The fact they were in the same college was one of the better things about the school and they were just as surprised when the semester started and they learned their dorms were so close to each other.

Josh’s shivering limbs were begging him to get indoors, so he starts making his way to his friends’ room as quickly as he can.

Sometimes he doesn't understand why everything crashes and burns around him when he does things. Case in point, he starts liking a boy and suddenly he starts hallucinating him everywhere he goes. He should have just been one of those kids who focused on his school work and only his school work until he was rich and successful.

As successful as a music teacher can be, anyway.

Once he makes it up to Colin’s door, he bangs on it repeatedly in the hopes that it will wake him or his roommate up. Josh’s teeth were chattering with how cold he is, his feet numb and possibly bleeding. He can’t really feel it at this point and he doesn't bother glancing down to check, saving himself from the panic attack.

Cool, cool, cool. Great job.

“Colin,” Josh calls shakily, tapping the door with his knuckles again. “Colin Rigsby, answer the door. _Colin_.”

Josh breathes out the last word in relief, because Colin answers the door. Let it be known that at least _one_ thing went right on this day.

“Dude, you know it’s, like, three in the morning, right?” Colin tells him, voice husky from just having woke up. He takes in Josh’s appearance and he straightens up, his face softening. “Yo, get inside, your lips are blue.”

Josh can only imagine. He’s surprised his nips haven't fallen off.

“Yeah, me too.” Colin replies and Josh isn't even surprised he said it out loud, he’s way, way, _way_ past the point of surprise now. Josh watches him wrap a blanket around his shoulders before glaring at him. “What the hell were you thinking, man?”

“Uh,” Josh says, oh so eloquently. “I’m not crazy.”

“I know. Why didn't you call?” Colin asks instead, tossing Josh a pair of socks. “Bad one night stand?”

It’s a joke, but Josh doesn't laugh. Colin doesn't laugh either, his face full of concern and Josh feels a little bad for coming to him looking like he’s about to have an existential crisis.

To be fair, he probably is about to have one.

“I, uh, I don't have my phone with me.” Josh doesn't look at his friend until the socks are on his feet and even then, he wraps the blankets around himself so that his vision is partially covered.

He’s made himself into a burrito in the hopes to get warm, sue him.

“Did you fight with him?”

Josh freezes, his breath catching in his throat before he shakes his head quickly.

“No, no, we didn't- no, we didn't fight,” Josh tries to explain, but how do you even explain this type of shit? “I just… had a bad feeling, I guess. Had to… get away.”

Colin nods as if he gets it and Josh just stares back at him because there’s no way he’ll ever get it. None of his friends knew that his mom was dead, they just assumed she lived really far away and Josh never bothered to correct anyone.

God, fuck Tyler for being in his dream-nightmare-thing. Fuck Tyler and his perfect face and his pretty wrist tattoos that could literally only belong to him even when they're holding a knife against his mother's throat and Josh wishes otherwise. Fuck Tyler for scaring him when he woke up.

Basically, he’d like to personalize a big fuck you to Tyler. Write it in the sky with one of those plane things to get the point across in the most obvious way possible.

Maybe he was subconsciously projecting Tyler into his dreams because he likes him so much.

He curls his lips in a grimace; that can't be it. Why would he want someone he likes to make him relive one of the worst things that ever happened to him?

“Jesse isn't here,” Colin is saying next to him. “So you can take his bed. Don't you work in the morning?”

“Yeah,” Josh groans. Of course. “Can you come with me back to my dorm?”

Colin watches him closely, the hopeful look on Josh’s face making him shrug indifferently. There's no way Josh can go back there alone, what if Tyler is there waiting for him, like some sort of fucking assassin? It’s possible that he watches way too many movies, but it’s way more plausible the fear is still there, simmering in his bones and having Colin agree to come with him makes him feel _slightly_ better.

Josh lays down, his body finally warming up beneath the covers and stares up at the ceiling for hours.

 

* * *

 

At 7:00am, Josh and Colin walk into his dorm room before his shift to find it empty of people.

The sheet that Tyler had tied up effortlessly the night before was, for lack of better words, no longer tied up and on the ground, but was just a normal mess on the floor, exactly like when Josh first threw it at him.

Colin announces that he’s going to nap until his first class, jumping into Josh’s bed without a second thought, pulling the covers from the floor around his body.

Josh needs so much fucking therapy.

 

* * *

 

Okay, he’s starting to think he may be a little bit more fucked up than he originally thought.

It starts off at work, when he’s making a lady her tea. Josh never has a problem with this stuff, it’s become so habitual that he could make teas with his eyes closed, but when he glanced down into the plastic cup, it was filled with black liquid instead of the cherry red colour it was supposed to be.

Obviously that lead to him dropping it on the floor in shock, because what the hell? There’s no way that could happen, they don't _have_ pitch black teas and when he tells as much to his co-workers they just look at him like he’s crazy. When they let him know the drink _was_ in fact red, he just freaks out harder.

Having a panic attack while at work was never on his bucket list, but hey, he can check that off now, too.

Going to class after his shift was even worse, because Tyler wasn't there the first time. Or the second. Or the third.

His phone was practically radio silenced, like Tyler never existed at all.

Of course he can always text him first, but that’s definitely not going to happen. Josh would rather live his life thinking he imagined it all than swallow his pride and speak to him like a normal human being would.

And yeah, he knows how fucked up that is of him. How childish. He just doesn't care. He doesn't care and if he wants to be petty, then damn it, he’s going to go above and beyond and be super-mega-ultra petty.

No one can stop him.

Work is going slow, the rush of students having already passed when Josh decides to pull his phone out of his apron’s pocket. He doesn’t know why he bothers, his phone hadn’t vibrated, but he still has some shred of hope.

A sigh passes his lips when he sees nothing, pocketing his phone back in his apron again. He shouldn't let himself be disappointed, this could be a blessing in disguise. This kind of felt like a break up and the silence was Tyler’s way of agreeing about wanting nothing to do with him without actually saying it out loud. It spared his feelings being hurt in person at least.

The gentle tap of fingers on the counter brings him back to reality and when he glances up from the spot on the he’d been fixating on, his heart leaps into his throat borderline choking him in his surprise.

Tyler is leaning his hip against it, his fingers tapping away as he looks up at the menu board with the names of all the teas, carefree as a person can be.

“Um.” Josh greets, unsure and wary of the boy in front of him.

“Hi,” Tyler says, looking over and grinning. “A friend recommended I come here at least once in my life. What’s good?”

The first thing Josh thinks is that he could write fucking poems about how pretty Tyler’s smile is. The second is that he needs to get a fucking grip. The third is that Tyler can go fuck himself.

“I could make you my favourite one?” Josh suggests monotonously, hoping his face is blank.

“Hmm, yeah,” Tyler leans forward a little intimidatingly. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“No, I haven't.” Josh argues, moving to make the mango passion tea. “You’re the one who doesn't come to class.”

“Oh, we’re _class_ friends now, are we?” Tyler says and Josh can feel his gaze burning the back of his head. “Could have texted me.”

“I lost my phone.” Josh lies.

“It was just in your hand.”

“What?” Josh feigns shock. “No, it wasn't.”

Tyler glares at him and Josh feels himself paling, swallowing hard as he waits for the tea to be done. He curses it for taking so long, if Tyler wasn't going to kill him, the silence between them definitely will.

“What’s wrong bro, you look like you've seen a ghost.” Tyler breaks the silence, going back to smiling again and confusing Josh even more.

Great, he was apparently a schizo and Tyler was apparently bipolar. What a pair they make. Match of the century.

Josh knew he should have never gotten involved. He even warned himself, why does he never listen? He knew something was off about him the second they started talking.

He’s not fucking crazy.

If they ever manage to create time machines in his lifetime, he’s going to go back to the exact second he got the first text from Tyler and smack the phone out of his own hands. He can already see himself saying something like _you’re not gonna talk to this asshole trust me he's going to ruin your life and you don't need that kind of negativity bro._

The timer beeps and Josh carefully - and quickly - applies the lid on the top of the plastic cup, handing it to Tyler over the counter.

“It’s on me.” Josh says calmly, but he’s practically shouting _leave_ at him in his head.

Tyler hums, taking a sip of his tea before nodding and licking his lips. He places his palms on the counter, leaning over it until his mouth was pressed against Josh’s ear.

Josh stops breathing.

“You’re not as clever as you think, Josh.” Tyler whispers before leaning away and smacking a wet kiss to his cheek.

Grabbing his tea off the counter, Tyler turns on his heels and walks out of the shop whistling, leaving Josh to stare after him completely dumbfounded.

 

* * *

 

“So, yeah, what do I do?” Josh sighs, finishing up what he thinks pretty much sums up what his situation with Tyler is.

Obviously he left some details out, but his friends still stare at him like he’s the crazy one.

This is not the reaction he wanted. He thought all of them meeting up at one of those cute little cafes (not Starbucks) on campus would help his anxiety. He thought they wouldn't be able to judge him too harshly in a public setting. He was terribly mistaken.

It’s too late to abort the mission now, though.

Their gazes burn him, making his cheeks flush while he shrinks in on himself self consciously. He has to remind himself he isn't crazy, he was totally normal, this was a normal bump in the relationship road that he needs help with and he’s not crazy. This was his life and it was fucked up, his friends should know this by now and shouldn't be as surprised as they are.

“What?” Josh says, mumbling it as he glances around the table.

“You’re an idiot, man.” Dustin tells him, blunt as ever.

“All right, coming from the guy wearing a muscle tank saying ‘what are you looking at dicknose.’” Josh scoffs, sitting up in his chair. “Newsflash asshole, it’s winter.”

“Hey--”

“Okay, you don't get to talk you almost froze to death a few days ago,” Colin cuts Dustin off to remind Josh and throws a look his way.

“Why are you all attacking me?” Josh whines, crossing his arms. “Help me. What do I do?”

They all stare at him again. Josh groans, placing his head in his hands.

“Obviously you go talk to him, Josh.” Debby takes pity on him, reaching over to pat his arm. Josh sulkily looks up and over at her friend with the shaved head, Ashley.

“What do you think?”

“Talk to him.” Ashley confirms and Josh sighs again.

He doesn't even know what to tell Tyler.

“Dude, you’re overthinking it.” Colin tells him while he sips his coffee, like some sort of relationship guru.

 _Take a fucking sip babes_ , Josh thinks annoyed and glares over at him.

“You know, once you work this fight out you should introduce him to us.” Debby says, earning nods from everyone.

Josh’s face twists in disdain, the thought of first introductions with his friends and fuckbuddy not really appealing to him. The world is out to get him and make him miserable, it seems.

“If you don't want to talk to him face to face just text him.” Dustin suggests when the silence stretches out too long and Josh shakes his head.

“Hell no,” Josh snaps, getting out of his seat. “I'll go talk to him now. Get this over with.”

His friends cheer as he walks away, like they’re his personal cheerleaders and he tries really, really hard to ignore all the people staring over at him.

In retrospect, it’s not his best idea. He just got fed up of hearing his friends tell him obvious answers to his problem. It’s not like he hadn't thought of all those options, obviously he _had_ because duh, but he didn't want to act on them.

He supposes that going over to Tyler’s room when he’s slightly pissed is a good thing. He _was_ angry at Tyler even though Tyler didn't even know it. At the very least Tyler knew something was up, so maybe, just maybe, they could work this out somehow.

Just gotta talk to him like everyone keeps telling him to do. Josh does sort of miss talking to him daily. His lack of weird-Tyler mannerisms has been exceeded and he’s suddenly _so_ ready to confront him.

Which is good ‘cause he’s standing in front of his door and staring at it with narrowed eyes like a dumbass. He still doesn't know what to say, like, does he say hi? Does he just barge in and tell him why he’s upset? It seems like a hard line to cross and decide.

“You’re looking mighty fine tonight,” He hears Tyler call from down the hall, making him jump, startled.

Josh glances toward the direction Tyler’s voice came from and when he sees Tyler at the vending machine, he rolls his eyes.

“What are you doing?”

Okay, not exactly what he had planned, but it'll do. He doesn't move toward him, just leans his shoulder against Tyler’s door and watches him with a raised eyebrow.

“Redbull.” Tyler blurts out with a shrug. His face is pretty emotionless, his trademark smirk not taking place yet. “You trying to fuck? Boy, let me relax.”

Josh rolls his eyes again, his anger simmering over a thin veil. He knows if Tyler says the wrong thing he’ll explode and he’s trying to avoid that. Tyler presses the buttons on the machine to get his redbull, waving at Josh and inviting him to get closer.

“No, I’m not trying to fuck.” Josh tells him simply, walking over to him slowly. He’s watching him intently, analyzing every move he makes and it feels weird.

 _Stop it then,_ he chides himself. This was still _his_ Tyler, right? Not some psycho.

“Someone’s feeling remorseful,” Tyler says as he picks up the can of redbull, popping it open. “With a hint of anger, I see.”

Josh watches him gulp his drink with his jaw clenched. Looks like he’s not the only one psychoanalyzing the other.

“Anyway,” Josh says and points toward Tyler's room. “I want to talk to you.”

Some other student brushes past them as they stare down at the other. It’s intense and timid and curious all at once on his part and Josh barely notices Tyler’s shrug before he leads the way back to his room.

“Go on, Josh. Tell me what’s eating at you.” Tyler says once they're safely inside, a grin on his face that irks Josh down to his core.

“You ever feel… not human?” Josh asks, phrasing it as a general question instead of outright asking if he’s some sort of dream-demon-thing.

“Huh,” Tyler furrows his brows. “Why are you asking?”

Josh doesn't stop watching him to see the way he’s reacting and it makes him nervous that he’s taking it seriously and without his usual cockiness. It makes him fidget with his hands anxiously because he’d never been a fan of confrontation. Why did he think he could do this?

Everything just feels so off lately, with the way he’s behaving and all, having Tyler be weird would be normal by contrast.

“I mean, I dunno, I’m getting vibes, y’know?” Josh shrugs, shifting his gaze upward for a second and pretending to act unfazed. He needs answers, even if Tyler denies it. “Are you, like, something else? ‘Cause that would be fine, I watch a lot of movies, so.”

Josh feels crazy for even considering it, but ending it on that note seems to make Tyler burst into laughter, the sound startling Josh and making him flinch.

“Dangerous question,” Tyler smirks, setting his redbull down on his desk. “What if I was?”

Tyler starts walking toward him tauntingly, but Josh stands his ground, eyes wide from the retort.

“I had this dream and you were--” Josh shakes his head, trying to clear up his jumbled thoughts as Tyler stands in front of him, an intrigued look on his face. “You were you, but _not_ you and when I woke up you were in my room. Why were you in my room?”

“Was I in your room?” Tyler muses, his smile widening to the point his dimples show on his cheeks.

“Yes!” Josh snaps, his patience leaving him with each passing second. “I’m not fucking crazy. You were in my room. Tell me _why_.”

“Oh, Josh, be rational for a second; do you really think goading me is a good idea?” Tyler advances again, backing Josh up against the wall, moving his hand to the side of his head and trapping him there.

“I think I deserve an explanation!” Josh shoves at Tyler’s chest, but he doesn't budge. Not even a little.

“You’re an idiot for someone so bright. I would have preferred if--” Tyler cuts himself off and leans in close, his nose brushing Josh’s as he licks his lips. “I am not who you think I am.”

Josh knew deep down that he was a god damn catfish. His name probably wasn't even _Tyler_.

“What?” Josh whispers as Tyler’s other hand comes up to stroke at his cheek.

“I am God,” Tyler says casually before his eyes lock with Josh’s and the whites of them fade into darkness. “And I am death at the same time.”

Josh’s entire mind shuts down because _this_ was the Tyler from his dream, not the Tyler who goes to school with him. Josh has to be dreaming again, creating more unrealistic scenarios because he’s so fixated on this and it can't be real.

“Don’t run,” Tyler says, his voice dropping an octave. “Don't do it.”

Josh jerks away almost instantly, his head hitting the wall since he’s practically trapped in between Tyler’s arms now. He’s going to die again, only this time it'll be in Tyler’s room and none of his friends would even know, dream or not.

When he looks back at Tyler’s pitch black eyes, all he can see is his mother in a sick twist of déjà vu.

“This makes no sense,” He growls, his frustration taking over his fear as he shoves Tyler again. “Let me go or explain what the hell is happening right now!”

“What are you doing?” Tyler questions his weak ass attempt to get free. “Why are you acting like this? How the fuck can you--”

Josh tries to shove Tyler again, only this time Tyler growls and grabs his wrist before the other is leaving the wall and circling his neck carelessly. Josh's free hand flies up to pry Tyler’s fingers away, but he doesn't get anywhere with it. Tyler’s going to kill him, holy shit, he’s going to actually die.

He’s not crazy, he’s not crazy, he’s not crazy.

The fear and anxiety blossom in his chest again and he almost faints due to the lack of air in his lungs.

“Tyler.” Josh tries to say, but nothing comes out of his mouth, just a silent breath and whimper when he realizes Tyler isn't going to let go.

“You’re not dreaming this time, Joshua,” Tyler sings mockingly, lifting Josh up effortlessly until Josh is gasping for breath with his toes barely touching the ground. _This can't be real_. “I should kill you.”

Josh struggles against him, trying to push and shove and gauge at Tyler’s face, but he doesn't seem to be bothered. Tyler’s face doesn't change from the emotionless mask he has on, doesn't even twitch into a cruel smile like dream-Tyler had.

This _is_ a dream.

“I should kill you,” Tyler growls again, squeezing his throat. “But what fun would that be?”

Before Josh can rejoice at the fact Tyler doesn't want to kill him this time, Tyler throws him across the room, his back hitting the opposite wall with a loud bang, the breath getting knocked out of him.

Obviously death was still a possibility.

Josh gasps as pain shoots up his spine, but he’s relieved to have air go in his lungs freely, his hand rubbing at his throat as Tyler walks over to him, squatting down so they’re eye level.

It’s not like Josh is trying to be defiant, because there are worse things than death and he’d rather not find out what they are, but if he was going to die either way, he’d rather die in a courageous, honourable way. He wouldn't let Tyler bully him and push him around like a dog's chew toy.

He manages to look everywhere but at Tyler, avoiding the pitch black colour of his eyes for a second before Tyler makes an agitated sound, grabbing Josh’s chin and forcing him to look at him.

“Oh, I’m going to _destroy_ you,” Tyler whispers, his lips quirking upward. “I’m going to watch you go crazy and I'm going to _enjoy it._ ”

“Fuck you.” Josh spits out and Tyler laughs delightedly, leaning forward and kissing him.

Tyler is kissing him.

Josh doesn't push him away, he doesn't even struggle to get away from him. Those thoughts don't even cross his mind as he closes his eyes and kisses him back, pushing his chapped lips harder against Tyler’s while Tyler’s fingers tighten painfully on his jaw.

“It’s already happening, isn't it?” Tyler purrs once they pull away, moving his hand away and kissing along his jaw. “Do you feel crazy yet, baby? You don't know if this is real or fake, do you?”

A bite against the skin of his neck makes Josh exhale loudly, too flustered to speak.

“Are you hallucinating? Are you dreaming?” Tyler continues before he’s pulling back and shoving Josh back onto his feet roughly, his gaze enough to make his knees buckle.

 _This isn't real_.

“Am I real?” Tyler grins when Josh doesn't respond. He doesn't know anymore, this feels real, it feels like he’s here with Tyler, but it can't be.

Tyler pulls him back into a bruising kiss and it’s so familiar, the way Tyler tugs at his blue curls and licks at the back of his teeth and tastes faintly of redbull and breathes deeply to keep from breaking the connection between their mouths. It’s _familiar_ and it scares Josh so much because what if it is real?

Josh doesn't stop Tyler from popping open his jeans, he doesn't stop him from slipping his hand into his boxers and he definitely doesn't stop him when he wraps his hand around his cock tightly.

Tyler bites at Josh’s lower lip, hard enough to draw blood. “Are you going to run now?”

Josh moans, pushing his hips against Tyler’s hand as he shakes his head. No, he’s not going to run, as much as he is scared, this was still ultimately Tyler and he would never purposely hurt him. The blood trickling down his chin is a paradox in itself, but he doesn't care.

“Kiss me again.” He tells Tyler, his voice bordering on begging.

He feels pathetic and weak, but he can't stop himself when it comes to him. Getting lost in Tyler was so easy and effortless, his head completely ignores the warning bells blaring and yelling at him to get away. When their lips touch, it's as though he forgets everything else that's going on around him; all the weird shit vanishes.

They kiss again, Josh groaning at Tyler’s hand moving in his fucking pants and melts against Tyler, grabbing his shirt between his fingers only to be shoved back against the wall.

“You’re so fucked up,” Tyler snarls at him, hardly breathless as Josh pants and leans his head back against the wall.

Josh whines when Tyler stops jacking him off, removing his hand from where it was to place it against the wall, not even slightly bothered by the precome on it. The look on his face is incredulous and the black of his eyes doesn't scare Josh as much as it did a few minutes ago.

“What if I'm a figment of your imagination, you fucking masochist?” Tyler snaps, clearly wanting Josh to break. “Are you _that_ disturbed?”

“You’re not.” The realization hits him so quickly, he might as well have been knocked out. “You’re not, because I've seen you before. Before all of this.”

Tyler pulls back and narrows his dark eyes at that. Josh regrets saying it almost instantly, wishing he could take those words back and pretend he'd never said them in the first place.

“Ah, what an odd turn of events this is. You just keep surprising me don't you, Josh? You're already crazy.” Tyler laughs, the sound ringing in Josh’s ears.

Josh's usual quick-witted remark of _yeah, so are you_ dies on his lips, his mouth opening and closing in a gasp.

“I’m not crazy,” Josh replies desperately, shaking his head. “Fucked up, sure, but not crazy. I’m not…” He lets his voice trail off. Josh hates that he suddenly feels like crying. “What do you want from me?”

No matter how many times he asks, he doesn't think he’ll ever get a serious reply. The look Tyler gives him matches murder and the curl of his lip in a snarl makes Josh want to disappear into the wall.

But this was real. He knows that now. This is real and those kinds of things can't happen.

“This question, you always ask this question, it’s starting to get on my nerves.” Tyler growls, pulling Josh’s hair so that he can show him he still has a handle on him. “Don’t fucking test me.”

“I’m just trying to _understand_.” Josh pleads, his dick having flagged the second Tyler called him crazy.

“I told you once before that I want to consume you. You should listen to me when I speak instead of just hearing what you want to hear.” Tyler’s answer is so cryptic that it almost relieves Josh.

“Does that mean you want me dead or something?” Josh spares a fleeting thought to his dream and inwardly cringes, trying to hide his fear.

“Or something.” Tyler deadpans, his hand coming down on Josh’s throat again, stopping him from anything else he was going to say with how tight he holds on. “You’re done asking questions now. Let’s get back to business, shall we?”

And the way Tyler looks at him with those dark eyes and that smirk on his face as though he was taunting him to try and say something against doing so makes Josh’s arousal flare all over again.

Josh is so fucking crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this answered some of your questions and left you with new ones lmao
> 
> Also, here's my fave fic ever. I would rec y'all to read it while you wait for me to update this: [**Someone Else's Dreams**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7444231) by [**SpookySad**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookySad)


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